Wednesday, 9 March 2016

There's no Handbook to Giving Advice

Giving a friend advice can sometimes be an entirely frustrating thing. We care for our friend and we so want them to excel in life and be happy and get rid of whatever is making them sad/stressed/angry. Sometimes they just won't listen and refuse to do anything but risk making a mistake or waiting for the mistake to unfold which will inevitably show them what was for the best. Of course, we don't always know what we are talking about and it's bloomin' awesome when things turn out well for our friends- whether they needed our advice or not.

Recently, a friend confided in me and another friend. She was quite heartbroken and felt a bit betrayed. She had every right to feel upset and my heart ached for her. It still does. We believe she should try her hardest to move on from the person causing her heartache because we're not sure of him as a person anyway! He stresses our friend out and she doesn't need that! No body does. Although she has agreed and seems to think the same she's still ever so slightly on the fence. It's hard to know what to do because we've persisted enough but we know she is still comfortable talking about it. We will continue to encourage her to see our point of view and see how it plays out because they won't see each other for a while anyway. Before that point we will be having words and hope to resolve this. It's her life and we know she's super smart but we also know she wants our advice and we will give it!

Sometimes friends don't want to hear particular advice. A friend once came to me and she was devastated. I love her and I hated seeing her like this. But she was in the wrong. I told her she had to be honest because she was so dreadfully caught up in herself. She took my advice because she knew it was also her own advice. She broke her own heart in being honest but it was the right thing to do. It's hard to give advice that can shatter your own friend's heart but sometimes it really is needed. I know I would appreciate anyone who would upset me when I need it so as to repair things on a larger scale- especially as it would help me too.

We've all been given advice we don't like and felt a bit hurt because of it. It's not very nice. I've sometimes felt a bit red-in-the-face and a little tantrum-y about certain advice but looking back, I definitely needed it. Advice can ground us and help us see through another person's eyes. It's not always nice, but it can be necessary.

What I'm trying to say is: The act of giving advice to a friend has no handbook to go alongside it. It's sometimes tricky; it's sometimes easy. Sometimes we get it wrong; sometimes they get it wrong. As long as we try our hardest and show how much we care and our friend is safe, we are doing something right.

Orange & Pineapple,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

P.S. My last post can be read HERE!

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