Saturday, 3 December 2016

December 3rd

It's completely fair to say 2016 kicked off to a brilliant start on the old blog. I was excited at the thought of blogging the most I ever have in one year. And then this year turned out to be the busiest I've ever had. Summer brought a few excuses that meant no blogging, and then this morning, dread filled my body: I've forgotten Blogmas. It's never too late, right? So here I am, apologising to my blog and ready to blog at least 24 times this month. I will make up for the last two days of no blogging and throw myself into this blogging festivity.

The Girl in the Moonlight, you are so used to knowing my days. My weeks. My life. You're my number one secret keeper so I need to catch you up. I'll do so by telling you about my last week. It's been a challenging one. But this blue Saturday woke me up with a really fresh and happy feeling in my belly. I hadn't realised but the bad really was outweighed by the brilliant good this week has brought. And I feel festive... At long last. I say at long last but I have been ready for a while. Essays have just forced me to have my sensible head on. With only a few more to go, I feel ready to lay out my Christmas jumpers and jingle my way through December.

So last week, just as I handed in an essay with a big, happy grin on my face, I had to have some challenging talks with some challenging people. I got a bit red in the face but the event taught me that we have to compromise; we have to listen; whilst getting our point across. It made my happiness plummet but soon enough I felt like I'd jumped over a hurdle. I learnt a lesson. And then yesterday, as my festiveness (in every form of the word) was winter sky high, I had to deal with just about the most rude person I've ever had to come across. Long story short she realised her mistake and simply let it lie. No apology. But as I've sadly learnt before, you can't wait about for an apology. I didn't get to say my piece or even have the chance to forgive but I realised that life really is too short to let it bother me. So on we trot!

And that brings me to Blogmas. I could dwell on the fact that I haven't blogged in months (which has never happened before) or I could pull up my Christmas socks and get on with it. And my lesson today is that there is a lot of pride that can be taken from just "getting on with it."

With the most festive heart, I'll tell you three beautiful moments that have happened this week. All simple. All noteworthy.

1. The realisation that I'm really happy wherever I am in the world; I really am lucky

2. Last night I got to watch one of my favourite shows with one of my favourite people and it made me feel the most careless sort of happy in the best kind of way

3. A stranger just thanked me for my time, checked how I was doing and told me to have a lovely day as he walked off

Happy Blogmas!

Christmas Jumpers & Hats,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Friday, 26 August 2016

Silly, Happy Voices

The night was rushed but, not once, hushed. She and him both thrived under the ticking clock, giggling. Being silly. Not looking forward because they knew a glorious night was to come and the now was something special. Two years of giggles, memories and nights just like this night. But not quite this night.

They sipped on sparkly drinks and spoke with silly, happy voices. They sung with no holding back. They looked at each other lovingly, very aware of what Hollywood-esque-love meant. Not perfect. And yet perfect. He wondered what was in store and sparkles shot up through his stomach with the knowledge that she took the time to arrange something special. He knew it would be special. Fuelled by silly love. Fuelled by happiness.

She revealed to him her dress.

Nerves shot through her body. Silly again. But not nice.

He could have clapped. He could have laughed from her sheer brilliance. He could have hugged her right there and then, taking in her scent. He chose silly. "You look beyond amazing. Pretty. Beautiful. Stunning. Gorrrrgeous."

"And you're wrong."

"None of that now. I hope you weear that every day from now on."

"You're stupid!" she insisted, grinning.

She hadn't felt good when she slipped the dress on and threw over her blazer. And then, with his honest eyes on her, she felt incredible. Honest, silly, happy eyes.

The night went slowly on and they were both oh-so-grateful for this. They missed their train and yet, no bother. She insisted for him to ssh! "I have a plan!" She giggled and he followed her lead. They ran and ran until they reached their two sparkly drinks. "I can't believe you," he said, grinning. "And yet I can."

"You're panicking, aren't you?"

"What if we miss our train again?!"

"You're predictable, sweetheart. Luckily, I'm more of a go with the wind type of girl."

His mouth widened, as did his eyes. "And go with the wind, we shall!"

Before they knew it they were back at the train station and on their train. "Where are we going?" he grinned for the millionth time and butterflies flurried through her stomach. She hoped with everything in her that it was all to go smoothly and he would adore her plans. They giggle about their running to a pub and running back again, finding the whole night completely enchanting. Magical. Silly. Happy.

To cut a long and completely lovely story short, the night was glorious. Full of sparkles and grinning. And delicious food. "You did good, girl," he brought his girlfriend towards him and she happily obliged. "You're a bit lovely, aren't you?"

"After two years, you're finally realising?"

"I mean, I've had an inkling." He took a piece of her hair and blew it with a silly smile. "I might keep you for another two years."

"Well, you might," she winked and he gasped. It might have been comical had she not been thinking that she hoped he was right. And then right again and again and again and they would soon be entwined by the most magical years of memories, silliness and happiness.

"But really, thank you for tonight. It's been simply sensational."

"You're more than welcome, silly."


Sparkles & Twinkles,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

Walk it Off

Walking has been the most therapeutic activity for me in the last week. I've been taking walks left, right and centre and they've brought me happiness, a sense of relieve and the time I've needed to think things out and get rid of any stress. I used to walk everywhere but I'm more likely to run or cycle now. From now on I'll be incorporating a lot more walking into my life. Knowing wandering along is super good for you physically and for me mentally makes it all the better.

I just cannot recommend anything more right now. Despite being very happy a lot of rubbish things are happening this summer- rubbish things I can deal with. One way being through walking. All walks have had a purpose to them, although I do intend to take some genuine walks- with no plan involved. Walking to work or to see a friend has been so beautifully calming. Relaxing. Lovely. Eye-opening. Relieving. Happy. Later I will be taking a walk just for that reason. To walk it all off.

Sitting inside frustrated or forming texts or making stupid angry noises just does nothing for me anymore. I need me. I've realised a lot over the last few years that the only person I really need - all the time - is me. Of course when it comes down to it we are the only person always there for us. Use yourself and love yourself and let yourself help you. When I'm walking, all alone and with my thoughts and the world, it's so easy to see clearer. To let myself talk to myself and tell me what I should do or show me different ways to help myself- other people and sad spaces only stunt my progression when they're quite clearly standing in the way. And all I want to do is progress.

I'm actually feeling a lot of pride in the decisions I am making recently. I'm using my head; I'm being smart. I am completely surrounded by negativity in three ways this summer. And last week it was only two! But I'm taking these negative sources and I'm calming the hell away from them. If that makes any sense. Everything is hard and awkward in these three particular ways- I am happy and I am fine but I am feeling incredibly uncomfortable in the three worse ways I ever have. But my walks have helped me massively.

I'm feeling positive. I'm feeling good. And if anyone tries to get in the way, well then I'll walk away... Literally!

Walks & Thoughts,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Saturday, 13 August 2016

Feeling Thankful

Sometimes it can take that little bit of effort to feel thankful- and it's totally worth your while. This morning I was just in the mood to complain; seriously in the mood. I was bumbling along thinking about how tired and verging on run down I felt. I had a terrible headache and couldn't stop obsessing over the thought of a sleep in. I was more than just a big glum; I was a massive misery guts. Then, as I was walking down the street, I took in the slight breeze, the warm sun and the blue sky. I smiled at some dogs barking at each other. I smiled at it being about half nine on a Saturday morning and people were just starting to go about their business. I smiled at how calm and excited the street was.

And then it clicked.

Life is good.

Like, man, I have got it good.

My mind said these words aloud and I just felt free. My headache eased and my eyes woke a little.

It's summer and, by default, my absolute favourite time of the year. I always feel happy and busy and I wouldn't have it any other way. And just like that I felt myself feeling so grateful for all of my summer so far and all that is to come. I felt thankful for the life that is living around me and the life that is living within me. Corny, but a happy truth. I felt and feel so gloriously happy about the life I get to call mine.

I'm thankful for the weather being cheery and encouraging me to smile. I'm thankful for the yummy and healthy snacks I bought for work. I am incredibly thankful for the tea that was the final push towards my grin. I'm thankful for being alive, healthy and happy. I'm thankful for being able to be as busy as I am- with friends and with work. Because I'm a lucky girl and I can't ever forget this. I'm thankful for remembering I need to look after myself and get a good sleep in; say no to a few things; brighten myself up in the most natural way.

Be thankful today.

The Sun & A Cuppa,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Sunday, 31 July 2016

Goodbye July

I blogged on the first day of July and now I am blogging on the last. This month was a sandwich with no filling and I feel pretty down about this. My blog is known to be super lonely over summer and I try to fight through this trend every year. And yet, here we are at the end of July 2016 with only two posts to show for it. Quite honestly I'm not sure why there is no filling- why I didn't sprinkle my blog with as much goodness as possible. However I do know that The Girl in the Moonlight still makes me so gloriously happy and genuinely fills me with a lot of love.

July was a testing month. And probably one of the best months of my life. All at the same time. It wasn't just these things though. It was hectic; full of laughter; full of books; full of fun; full of plans being carried out; full of love; full of too much anger that I don't want anymore.

I truly believe bad times help us appreciate the great; help us appreciate life; appreciate people. And when you have the bittersweet times full of really good and really bad times, the lines are both blurred and made clearer. I wonder how I can feel so happy when I'm so sad about something else- but the wonderful aspects teach me how to deal with the bad/how to analyse the situation/how to let go. I can't say I haven't felt drained from the sucky situations going on but I have most certainly been uplifted by the happiness, the amazing people in my life and the way I am feeling in general.

It's hard to be an anonymous blogger blogging about personal events but then I think that makes it all the more comfortable for me. And I think I gain a lot from talking about it so distantly. So I'll tell you what I have learnt from dealing with an unbearably unfair human in my life. From some challenging dealings with another human who makes it her absolute priority to choose impoliteness over any kind of kindness. The latter is less prominent in my life but I'll talk about this first.

I have never had to learn how to bite my tongue quite as much in the last month or so. Taking orders is something I can do- I thrive off of challenges and completing tasks gives me a sense of meaning. But taking orders from someone who rolls their eyes, patronises and makes you feel insignificant, not just in places isolated from others, but in front of people you care about/people you don't even know  is pretty darn tough. Humiliating. Kinda soul destroying. To anyone else experiencing this I think there are too perfectly acceptable ideas in regards to dealing with it. Even if it's not unbearable but you think you're happiness will improve, quit/remove yourself from situations where you have to deal with such discomfort/file complaints etc. Life is short and we shouldn't spend it feeling uncomfortable because of other people. Or if you can because of situational reasons (like me), understand that you're not patronising/aggressive/pretty impossible and fuel that in to being great at your job/being a friend/learning a new sport. Sucky people suck but the sucky situations can be removed or dealt with in a different way!

So not only have I learnt how to bite my tongue but I have learnt how not to let a particular individual in a particular situation transfer the miserable attitude and words into other parts of my life and importantly, the particular situation.

And then there's the first case- someone causing me far too much grief who stereotypically should treat me far from how he does. And so I quit that deal. All my life we have had massive differences and yet in the last few months he has said unforgivable things/acted disgustingly/never shown any remorse. Quite frankly whether it's a family member or an incredibly close friend we are allowed to quit. Being treated terribly and out happiness being compromised is not on. We choose who gets to be in our lives.

People can suck but they show you who matters and what life should be like. So while July has been testing the lessons it has shown me are invaluable. Priceless. But more than that: necessary. So while I say goodbye to July I say hello to August; a month that is welcomed by a blogger who has taught me that this blog makes me happier than these frustrating people; comforts me more than them; helps me through a lot.

I'm going to make sure the rest of The Girl in the Moonlight Summer Blog is a picnic- the best picnic ever!

Sandwiches & Strawberries,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Friday, 1 July 2016

Colour in with Positive

I have written about the power of words probably a few times on the blog. This time, I want to talk about this topic in the best possible way. I was thinking about when someone retold me something I once said to them and how they think about it when they are in a specific situation and it makes them feel better. I felt kind of sucky that I couldn't remember saying it but they said that I didn't realise it was a life-changing thing to say. Maybe it wouldn't be to everyone. But for them - right there and then - they needed to hear it.

After thinking about this for a while I realised many people have said what could seem like a meaningless statement but it has changed my perspective/helped me cope with something/made me smile for far longer than just the moment they said it in. How awesome is that?!

I think this whole concept is amazing. That one little thing - or big thing! - can really help someone. And yet I believe we could probably experience this awesome thing (taking someone's words and loving them for a long time beyond they are said) far more often than we do. We, as silly human beings, are probably more likely to let horrible words said to us stay in our hearts longer than the nice things. Silly silly silly.

I've become complacent in the most awesome way recently. Although I, a couple of days ago, spoke about my struggle with biting my tongue, a similar notion I have very much so improved with. I have experienced some utter rubbish from someone who is supposed to be pretty crucial in my life recently. Terrible, terrible words and thoughts have been thrown my way and originally I would catch them. Now I just throw them away. Not caring when it comes to people treating you terribly honestly is the way forward.

I now play to fill in this gap where I once used to care about such opinions. And I'm going to colour it in with all of the positive. I encourage complacency when it comes to evil and I suggest this gap must be filled with all of the wonderful life-changing nothings that can really help us. It'll create the sunniest picture.

Little Words & A Big Impact,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Biting One's Tongue

I feel like I have recently come across people and situations that have caused a feeling I find super ugly to feel- a specific version of frustrated and angry. I get worked up, whether I make it clear or not. If I settle my frustration (by saying something) I'm going to feel annoyed all the same and if I don't, I'll spend my time getting more worked up I never said anything. This whole process is not something I enjoy and yet it's not a feeling I can avoid.

I don't consider myself an argumentative person but I'm not very good at biting my tongue. I don't want to call this a bad thing but at the same time I do need to master the art of biting my tongue. Mainly for my own peace because there are more things that matter. I feel this frustrated feeling bubbling up inside me (which is likely to end in me saying something) in front of people who have said or done something I believe is wrong and I want to make it clear I believe they are wrong. And yet the feeling of correcting someone in situations like this (I will only be this frustrated if someone has been out of line) doesn't feel much better than the feeling of frustration.

This feeling comes from a certain situation I'm trying to pinpoint but can't quite. I will always believe standing up for everything I believe in is a must but it's the little frustrating things... the frustrating people that I'm not sure about anymore. It's definitely context dependent but I want to improve on ignoring the incredibly frustrating people that make disgusting comments.

More often than not, yes, I won't bite my tongue but it's because I'm faced with individuals who are genuinely testing and more often and not, they bite back in a careless way. Whether they do or not, they don't care and it frustrates me that I've spent time in my day caring about the whole situation.

I am in close contact with a couple of people right now who make me feel this "do I bite my tongue or do I go straight ahead" feeling and so I need to make a decision. Once again, it is context dependent but I'm going to work on not getting worked up and biting my tongue more and more.

Good Words & Love,

The Girl in the Moonlight.
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