Wednesday, 27 February 2013

A Hopeless Romantic Who Doesn't Believe in Love

The title of this post explains it all to me, but I am very aware it is an oxymoron which could make one wonder what the hay I'm talking about: "a hopeless romantic who doesn't believe in love" and it's been my way of thinking from whatever age I first considered the strange concept of "love".

I shall explain:

I have always been a sucker for romantic films, books and songs; I adore fairy-tale, Disney relationships and fall for every charming fictional character I've ever had the joy of delving into their worlds: Dave-the-Laugh, Wes, Logan, Kian, Peeta, Gale, Romeo, and trust me the list goes on. My tummy is inhabited with butterflies whenever I read the most beautifully-crafted words of Nicholas Sparks, producing delicate feelings in which a character feels for another. There are songs that send me to another world completely. A world where "the grass is green" and happiness is not - as One Tree Hill phrases - a "destination"; where evil does not exist and would not ever be inflicted on another: the perfect world.

But - (and I apologise to a previous English teacher who would be having a right old tizz if she were to witness me using "but" at the beginning of a sentence) and the only way I can think of putting it is - I am a cynic. A boy cannot, in my eyes, produce the most thoughtful gesture without influence and a girl sees faults that should not exist. "Love" lasts only as long as the mind wishes to endure, and the small things vanish when the heart refuses to play any more. The concept of "love", to me is simply a commercial-scam to keep the economy existing, to keep some kind of happiness on the surface, to keep people disillusioned when times are darker than those with power wish to portray.

"Love" can neither be pinpointed by those whose voice is louder, nor can it be explained by a blogger who can - all in the same day - cry at the heart-wrenching film Titanic and cringe at her best friend for claiming to be in the full-swing process of the motion of, yes, "love".

If this were an essay, I'd conclude with facts and figures supporting an assured view without contradictions. Yet, I can't. Wherever I see true heart being spoken in words, I feel my eyes sting with excited tears but I also see an inevitable, eventual disease, and where I see roses produced by the modern-day-Romeo, I both "aw" outwardly and see a woman who intends to make this man happy until the next season's Gucci arrives.

Sunshine & Sandcastles,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

(Plot twist: all of the above does not mean that I do not see that love does exist...)

Saturday, 23 February 2013

"You Miss the Memories, Not the Person"

Watching people change around you is the worst thing; especially when you, personally do not want to change. I don't want to put it out there that people changing is not a good idea; that is not what I'm saying. Only, sometimes it can be and sometimes it can leave people feeling isolated.

I once had a very close friend for a long time who decided who she was (who I loved) wasn't who she wanted to be or who would be the person who would achieve the things that she wanted to - more of the latter, I'd say - and as a result I, of course, was pushed out a little. Well, a lot. She wanted to go out with people who weren't my type of people and moreover she didn't want to go out with me. It was the summer that was supposed to be the "best" I'd ever have and yet it was the summer of me being angry and bitter, especially considering before summer she'd often enjoy to show me up a little - although I don't think that was particularly successful. I'm not saying that's her fault, not really. I'm just saying that sometimes people forget about those who have been there (I'm not boasting about me as a partner in friendship but I was a good friend to her) and that's not fun.

Anyway, it's easy, when a little annoyed to sit back and watch. Watch this person become who they two years ago, even a year ago wouldn't have wanted to ever be. It's not my place to tell anyone how they should handle it, I don't know whether she would have listened to me: maybe, maybe not. Yet, I watched. Well, more accurately sat at home doing nothing, feeling sad, feeling lonely.

It sucked. It really does suck, right?

However, eventually the anger faded and turned into pity and suddenly I was proud of myself. I was the bigger person and now, I'm happy. I know who I am, who I need to be and I'll always be true to who I am (I hear the cheese and I shall spread it!). I spent way too long holding onto memories and thinking I missed the person when that person really wasn't there anymore. It's another sad story, you may say, that this person lost themselves; I wish them the best of luck!

Smiles & Pearls,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Step-by-Step Guide to Dealing With a Fangirl/boy

Nowadays fangirls and fanboys outnumber those without a musical/TV/sport (tick as appropriate) obsession. Triggered by an incredible motion of love felt for the trigger, a fan-attack can often take place. This is a guide to let you know what could happen.

Common symptoms to look out for:

- "my feels": Inside they are exploding, but it's ok.

- "can u not": It is likely that the person/band have become too beautiful for the victim (the fangirl or fanboy) to deal with and they may repeatedly utter "can u not".

- "I hate them": When this phrase is used it's relating to the person/band/group of people and I must point out, they don't actually hate them. In this moment their emotions have become disorientated and their love has got mixed with the excitement of it all. In contrast they may repeat "I love them" and this will be said with a similar tone with pure sadness and happiness in their eyes. They may even mix 'n' match the two of them.

- "I can't"; "can't even": There's no need to panic. The can breathe; (in the instance where they can't breathe please don't follow my guidelines, I'm having a wee chuckle, but all the same: this is a serious topic) a brief metaphorical and sometimes physical pain is being felt through their body and to the victim can feel very severe because they feel like they cannot handle it. It will pass.

- Is she/he making sounds resembling "asdfghjkl"? Yes? Ok, this isn't good. It will pass. However if the sounds resemble more of a "kdsancsnmcladmlkmxqksdlkpcs"* then things just got serious.

- Shortly after the victim of a love so deep may lie on the floor. This is called the "fangirled out" stage. These sessions can last past an hour; just leave them to it.

- This is often followed by a "I'm dying" stage. They're not dying (again if they are dying, please disregard anything I'm saying). It's a fan euphemism. They're ok. It may be said over and over again seeming as though there's not breaks to breathe.

Side notes:

- Do not under any circumstances, once the fan-attack has blown over call their love a "phase" and do not tell them they "overreacted". It's not a phase, they haven't overreacted and you're not helping. Please treat the subject with care, affection and everlasting support.

- Their mood may be aggressive, sad or incredibly happy.

- When the fan-attack takes place it can involve hysterical crying through the whole process/at a certain stage/not at all.

- Symptoms/orders can vary depending on the fan and the trigger.

*there are variations to how the pattern of what sounds like a jumble of letters (when in fact is a very intricate way of saying those three words) can sound and all are of similar urgency.

Good luck.

Tea & Scones,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Monday, 18 February 2013


When I talk about expectations I'm meaning the pressure upon oneself when faced with a task/series of exams or whatnot. Thus, expectations suck, right? I don't think that many people sit at home, revision spread before them smiling, thinking "this weight on my shoulders makes me feel free". Well, if anyone does, then kudos to you. Kudos...and can I be you?

I know not many people are but I am not an Exam Person. It makes me very nervous and when sat in the hall, crisp booklet of paper with nonsense spilled out over each page, whatever I had revised is very jumbled.

Now, becoming rather nauseous at the thought of the exams that wait for me, I know this will never get easier.

You must remember:

- quotes
- examples
- to link back to the question
- exciting new information that the examiner won't have heard of before
- to be brilliant
- write neatly in the stupidly short amount of time for a whole essay and two questions
- to have a cohesive structure
- not to burst into tears.
- etc etc.

Okay. Breathe. You can do this.

Strawberries & Cream,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Sunday, 17 February 2013

I Was About to Save Someone's-

I cringe my way through life. In fact, my life is the definition of cringe. However, I like to convince myself that I go through life with elegance and finesse. Apparently I actually grace life with clumsy, red-faced and awkward actions. One Sunday afternoon was no exception.

Pretending to be très sophisticated, I sat in a café, hot chocolate with whipped cream before me, tapping my foot in a one-sided boy-meets-girl-esque manner, eyes drifting back and forth to the beautifulgorgeousfantastical creation of a guy that wasn't too far away. Ignoring the fact that I was sat there in a far-from-flattering top and worn Converse, I continued on my mission.

Now I wasn't aware of what my "mission" was, but you picture these perfect scenes, don't you: both pairs of eyes meet before the boy sits in front of you, ukulele in hands singing of your eyes and hair, one's fairy-tale has lift off. Just me? Alrighty. Okay, he looked over. Here we go. Mind in a state of HE'S GORGEOUS, HE'S PERFECT, LET'S GET MARRIED way of thinking, I took a wee slurp of my drink. He was smiling. He smiled.

Now to proceed further with one's mission. I smiled slightly - just slightly - and he grinned back. A grin: better than a smile. A grin. Looking down in a modest - like the movies - manner, I caught my reflection in my phone. Oh, of course. I had whipped cream all over my face. Obviously. Drat.

Fine, he wants to play it that way. Rude. Despite Mr. Cleanface I continued with my sophisticated ways in life and rather Queen-like dabbed at my face with a napkin. Hrumph.

Well I couldn't leave, could I? Now that would be tragic. So, I stayed, becoming more and more aggressive at my many attempts at the new game on my phone. I could still sense Mr. Whatshisface with no cream on his face sat at the other side of the café and so acted my cool as cucumber self for the next twenty minutes, casually skimming the newspaper on the table before standing up, previous events blocked from my mind.

You know what I need? I need a quick trip to bathroom, as one may call it. Doo de dum, walking through the maze of tables, narrowly avoiding an oncoming angry-looking waitress and an old sweetheart with an adorable hat before I reach the toilet.

I turn the handle and hear a bit of a kerfuffle. Now, here is where I went wrong. A normal citizen would take this as "oh! Someone's using the facilities! A bit embarrassing for the both of us, but a completely awkwardamondo situation saved. Step back and wait!", but no...not me. "Oh Gosh", I said a bit too loudly, people nearest to me hearing. "I think he's in trouble!" This handle had never been too good and so I turned it and stumbled in. I was about to save someone's-

Mr. beautifulgorgeousfantastical not looking so beautifulgorgeousfantastical with his ankles around his trousers or maybe his trousers around his ankles, I'm not sure. It was a strange moment. Anyhoo, you know the rest. Of course, he was, indeed "using the facilities". A few nearerbyers had rushed to my aid from before and awkwardly shuffled off. "I'm sorry," I muttered before, too, shuffling off feeling rather faint.

Goodbye Prince Charming,

Shooting stars & Toffee Apples,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Saturday, 16 February 2013

Proud of Dougie

Dougie Poynter's perfection is impossible to describe with any language's dictionary so I won't try and "proud" doesn't do justice to the emotion I am feeling today. 2 years sober...

Being a fan of McFly, living my life with them and their music has been the most natural thing for me, but when Unsaid Things...Our Story was released, I was in no way prepared for Dougie's chapter: the "lowest point" of his life. I was a mess, that was for sure, but more than that I was proud. Dougie, one of my four heroes had overcome something so sad and had made himself and all of his fans immensely proud.

I was in a mess of my own making...

Sat, statue-like in my living room, I was incredibly sad reading about what Dougie went through and his thoughts and feelings, but, now, 2 years on, 2 years sober, I smile.

My time of sobriety has been the best of my life.

In Unsaid Things...Our Story, when Dougie had said to Harry that it was "too late", for a moment I was reading a novel, the world and what I knew to be true forgotten. Those two words seemed, not only relevant to that specific night but to how he felt about his life and, for a girl who sits at her laptop, listening to McFly albums on repeat next to her posters, it's safe to say, I was living it with him for that moment his sadness was mine too.

Sobriety isn't always easy. I go through patches when I know I'm more likely to relapse, but I take things one day at a time.

Maybe, those who aren't fans won't quite understand the severe sadness I felt and the incredible happiness I feel right now, but I don't care. I know Galaxy Defenders do.

I'm in recovery, and I will be for as long as I stay clean, which I intend to be for the rest of my life.

It's not always easy, but McFly's here forever,

Stars & Dreams,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Friday, 15 February 2013

The Summer Promise

Due to it being February and therefore the weather is rainy and grim or crisp and unbearable, it is safe to say I think of The Summer Promise more often than I probably should and I do not doubt that I am not the only one. When I was younger The Summer Promise was the six weeks that concluded the school year and was a time to eat ice-cream all day with my friends or just be bored all day. It would be perfect. As I became older I, like a lot of teenagers got caught up in the fantasy of the perfect summer. I am a huge book, music and film fan and they often create the picture of sandy beaches and strawberry-picking and, obviously, a beautiful romance.

Reality, however, is often incredibly different: boring English weather with the occasional glimpse of sun; a lack of motivation; the complete contradiction to how it should be.

I want to make daisy-chains, sit on the beach and listen to music and, more importantly I want to have no worries. Instead, the ominous mist of exams and pressure is spread out before me. A shadow of gloom and doom. It will pass though and between now and summer we will have English early, promising bursts of outrageously warm summer days and I, for one, cannot wait.

The Summer Promise will still be pumping through my veins throughout the months of February, March and early April: the expectation of Ryan Gosling sweeping me off my bare feet with an anklet; staying up with friends with ginger beer and pizza (I am definitely picturing a Mallory-Towers-esque scene); endless pretty clothes. Oh well.

And I'll keep holding on to The Summer Promise with my winter-coloured hands,

Lemonade & Sequins,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

P.s. We're all in this together (you sang it, don't deny it: GO WILDCATS).

Thursday, 14 February 2013

25 Facts About Me

1. I have incredibly big soft spots for the actors Zac Efron, Josh Hutcherson, Andrew Garfield, Robert Downey Jr, Benedict Cumberbatch, Gerard Butler and Josh Duhamel.
2. Star Wars Battlefront 2 will be my favourite video game forever (although I do love Assassin's Creed and Nintendo games!).
3. I can be intimidated by scary people quite easily and this is why I try very hard to be welcoming to everyone (other than to the intimidating, scary people).
4. The first youtuber that I properly stalked and loved was Christina Grimmie, aka "zeldaxlove64".
5. I love hats with the faces of animals on (sounds creepy in writing).
6. Going to the theatre is one of my favourite things.
7. I have very farfetched dreams about the future and so have no idea what I want to do "when I am older".
8. I love chocolate very much and do not intend to stop.
9. Shopping for clothes is my weakness.
10. I really like flowers and my favourite changes weekly (daisies are my faves at the mo!).
11. Christmas is my favourite time of the year and the Christmassy-magicy-feeling, for me will never be lost and I love snow (it's magical), however summer-weather is the bestest.
12. Some days I wear quite boyish, geeky clothes, then the next I'll be wearing girly-50s clothing and then I'll be wearing smart, blazer-like clothing.
13. I love Converse.
14. I've always wanted to be able to sing.
15. Saint Kidd (< my absolute favourite!), Zukie, Truffle Shuffle, Topshop, Urban Outfitters and H&M are my favourite clothing shops.
16. I can get quite nervous at random as well as understandable things, although I can get overly nervous.
17. In general, the only things I properly cry about are McFly and sad things that happen to those closest to me.
18. I go to bed incredibly early and at weekdays I will be rather on edge if I'm not in bed by 9o'clock.
19. Miranda makes me very happy.
20. I love pretty places with lovely rivers and greenery.
21. I am a soap-watcher.
22. Although being with my friends is one of my favourite things, sometimes all I want is to be by myself as in I enjoy my own company.
23. I enjoy working hard but yet my favourite days are those spent in comfy clothes doing virtually nothing as well as eating too much.
24. My i-Pod music ranges from AC/DC to the Hairspray soundtrack.
25. McFly are my everything and they will never understand how much I...cherish them!

Strawberry laces & Raindrops,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Saturday, 9 February 2013

My Dandelion Dreams

I have always been a dreamer: I dream when I am incredibly busy; I dream when I am laying in bed at night; I dream when I am procrastinating.

*Wish: A desire for something/something to happen.
Dream: An image of the perfect setting/life imagined by the dreamer.

I have always taken my wishes extremely seriously. Whether it be a Birthday-candle wish, a "wish upon a star" wish or a dandelion wish, you will be sure to find in that precious moment that I will believe that my wish will turn into reality. My wishes, in turn are part of the bigger picture: the dream.

It is dandelions that I believe hold the most importance. I pick up dandelions only if they are already out of the ground and when I do I find it so liberating. This isn't some weird spiritual post, I just love the feeling of having the dandelion raised, close to your lips before making a wish and blowing it into the seeds, your wish in the hands of the wind and the seeds.

Wishes really are as simple as that.

Sandcastles & Turtles,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

*Handmade definitions.

A post about Dreaming.

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Gay Marriage

I have never understood why homosexuality is a controversial issue. I do not say this naïvely and nor do I say it in a butter-doesn't-melt kind of way. It has always been clear to me: gay, bi, straight, the foundations are the same. To me, I believe it should be equally surprising if someone is gay, bi or straight. Maybe I hope the world can be seen in a more beautiful colour, but homophobia, is categorically wrong. Hence, homosexuality should not be considered wrong. Of course, everyone has an opinion. My opinion is that those who believe homosexuals should not have equal rights and therefore the same opportunities is wrong. Frankly, it is disgusting.

I sit, trying to consider the opposite argument, be tentative, but I can say with confidence that I physically cannot. I would be less opinionated if I was someone who could not see it so black and white. Yet I do and so will not apologise. How is it 2013, where new, exciting technology is no longer a surprise, where walking down the street without sending a virtual message is impossible and the concept of gay marriage is alien to some?

"Boy meets girl" results in no eyebrows raised; throw "boy meets boy" or "girl meets girl" into the equation and suddenly the idea becomes all the more complicated. Apparently. What is all the more frustrating is that I cannot depict strongly enough the amount my head begins to hurt attempting to put into words how simple the subject is and yet that is all it should take: "It. Is. Simple."

"Love" to so many is a beautiful, delicate movement of two people being besotted with the other. The majority, I take an uneducated, bitter guess would picture a couple consisting of two different genders. Now, this, I can not feel angry about. This is how generations so far have been brought up. Why though, should this be the case? Why, after being told a story of two people, so caught up in the motion of love does it become ugly when informed the couple were indeed of the *gasp shock horror* same sex?

As taught from many years of education, "I" should not be used in a persuasive piece, just facts, figures and tentative analysis. However, this should not need educating: same sex marriage is the same as opposite sex marriage. Furthermore, this should not have to be a case that needs to be persuasive.

Following the "tentative analysis" should be an assured conclusion and I assure you, there should be no more doubt around same sex marriage.

Stop this craziness now.

Daisies & Clouds,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Monday, 4 February 2013


It is so easy to get caught up in fantasy worlds, I believe. Those influential are often known to depict thoughts of nothing being bigger than the subject in question, that any dream is doable, that if one has the willpower then one will succeed. And we, let's face it, believe them. "Why couldn't I quit my job and become...?", "Why shouldn't I...?" I wish there was an answer which satisfied our obvious want to reach higher than we possibly can.

I often find myself dreaming of a farfetched job where I face no problems, just a girl in a room exploring places and creating people or words that paint a metaphorical picture matching the one in my mind. Here I find myself asking myself in a hopeful, yet strained tone, "Why do I have to fit in with 'the norm'?". Reality, however hits me like a tonne of sour, stubborn bricks. Songs, movies and books create, for me the ideal world. A place where "twists and turns" will be overcome. I would have no need to worry about it; just sit back and relax as the problem unfolds. Soon it will be over. Soon will be your Happy Ever After.

Happy Ever After? Many assign thoughts of love and family with the latter phrase. Well, yes, as do I. However being a young adult, as of now, it is my future career that defines my state of mind. With no clear plan ahead of me, only the shadow of too many fairytales (which I do not regret) and musicals, I sit infront of a computer screen, the words of Taylor Swift "dream impossible dream" contrasting with a former teacher's words: "you won't challenge the norm. You're from working-class backgrounds...". Inspiring, I know right?

Yet, as I type this I'm saddening at my pessimistic tone. Why isn't it possible for a girl to dream? Why shouldn't we all be encouraged to dream "outside of the box"? The answer is probably society. And authority. Why should we listen to society and authority? Now, I am not suggesting a rebellion. Merely a simple thought: "why can't I have a fairytale start (why would I want a "fairytale-ending?)?".

So I shall dream. I shall wish. I do believe in dreaming, I do, I do.

Bluebells & Pebbles,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Friday, 1 February 2013

Billy and Me

With  my copy of "Billy and Me" pre-ordered and ready for the 23rd May of this year, I am not sure as to whether I am fully prepared to weep at the romance and beauty of what I know will be perfection by Giovanna Fletcher.

Information on Amazon:

When you've got the dream boyfriend everything should be perfect, right?

So why isn't it? wonders Sophie May.

When Sophie and Billy met and fell in love, she thought she was living in a fairytale.

After all, Billy is an actor, a teen heartthrob adored by girls around the world - and he loves Sophie. She's the only girl for him.

But being on Billy's arm comes at a price. Their relationship has thrown Sophie right in the spotlight after years of shying away from attention.

Can she handle the constant scrutiny that comes with being with Billy? But most of all, is she ready for her secret heartbreak to be found out and shared with the nation?

Charming, heartwarming and utterly romantic, Billy and Me will completely capture your heart.

Link to pre-order:

Waiting to have a copy of this book will be a heart-warming torture and I shall embrace it every day! Giovanna's blog posts, tweets and photos are awesome and so I do not doubt for one second that this will be the perfect recipe coated in lots and lots of sugar-drops.

Sunsets & Shooting Stars,

The Girl in the Moonlight.
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