Deb holds out her arms and cradles her baby for the first time. She falls in love instantly, her eyes bursting with pride. The last couple of months of her pregnancy with baby Andrew were absolute hell after her husband, Andy died in a car accident. The last thing he said to a woman who helped out was, "Tell Deb I love her and the baby and she can do this. She can do this."
As Deb looks into Andrew's eyes and repeats this in her head, she knows her grief has to wait. For this baby boy. To make Andy the proudest daddy and husband.
Her and Andrew's family have been devastated but have been putting a brave face on for Deb. For the baby. For Andy. Sometimes it was what she needed; sometimes she just needed to be at her and her husband's home. She didn't find it morbid; she found it helped. She would watch the shows they would watch- no new episodes; just the ones they'd seen before.
Deb remembers the phone call she received to tell her husband was in a coma. She stayed calm. She knew she had to for the baby. She phoned her best friend, Alex and asked her to drive her to the hospital. She remained calm until he passed away. She cried and she cried. But she was aware she couldn't be stressed. So she found strength in her husband's words.
She is aware this tactic is only going to last so long. She has her family and friends' help at hand and she is going to go to a counsellor. Everything is even more planned than it was when her and her husband were making plans for the baby.
Deb's heart aches at the sight of baby Andrew and his chance of loving his dad so dearly being snatched away from him. She aches for her husband and how excited he was to be having a child with the love of his life. She thanks something for giving her the chance to love the best man she ever met and for having such a beautiful baby boy with him.
"You're my new episode baby boy," Deb kisses Andrew's head and smiles.
Hope & Love,
The Girl in the Moonlight.
P.S. I am blogging twice every day in March and you can read my last post HERE!