December 3rd

It's completely fair to say 2016 kicked off to a brilliant start on the old blog. I was excited at the thought of blogging the most I ever have in one year. And then this year turned out to be the busiest I've ever had. Summer brought a few excuses that meant no blogging, and then this morning, dread filled my body: I've forgotten Blogmas. It's never too late, right? So here I am, apologising to my blog and ready to blog at least 24 times this month. I will make up for the last two days of no blogging and throw myself into this blogging festivity.

The Girl in the Moonlight, you are so used to knowing my days. My weeks. My life. You're my number one secret keeper so I need to catch you up. I'll do so by telling you about my last week. It's been a challenging one. But this blue Saturday woke me up with a really fresh and happy feeling in my belly. I hadn't realised but the bad really was outweighed by the brilliant good this week has brought. And I feel festive... At long last. I say at long last but I have been ready for a while. Essays have just forced me to have my sensible head on. With only a few more to go, I feel ready to lay out my Christmas jumpers and jingle my way through December.

So last week, just as I handed in an essay with a big, happy grin on my face, I had to have some challenging talks with some challenging people. I got a bit red in the face but the event taught me that we have to compromise; we have to listen; whilst getting our point across. It made my happiness plummet but soon enough I felt like I'd jumped over a hurdle. I learnt a lesson. And then yesterday, as my festiveness (in every form of the word) was winter sky high, I had to deal with just about the most rude person I've ever had to come across. Long story short she realised her mistake and simply let it lie. No apology. But as I've sadly learnt before, you can't wait about for an apology. I didn't get to say my piece or even have the chance to forgive but I realised that life really is too short to let it bother me. So on we trot!

And that brings me to Blogmas. I could dwell on the fact that I haven't blogged in months (which has never happened before) or I could pull up my Christmas socks and get on with it. And my lesson today is that there is a lot of pride that can be taken from just "getting on with it."

With the most festive heart, I'll tell you three beautiful moments that have happened this week. All simple. All noteworthy.

1. The realisation that I'm really happy wherever I am in the world; I really am lucky

2. Last night I got to watch one of my favourite shows with one of my favourite people and it made me feel the most careless sort of happy in the best kind of way

3. A stranger just thanked me for my time, checked how I was doing and told me to have a lovely day as he walked off

Happy Blogmas!

Christmas Jumpers & Hats,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Silly, Happy Voices

The night was rushed but, not once, hushed. She and him both thrived under the ticking clock, giggling. Being silly. Not looking forward because they knew a glorious night was to come and the now was something special. Two years of giggles, memories and nights just like this night. But not quite this night.

They sipped on sparkly drinks and spoke with silly, happy voices. They sung with no holding back. They looked at each other lovingly, very aware of what Hollywood-esque-love meant. Not perfect. And yet perfect. He wondered what was in store and sparkles shot up through his stomach with the knowledge that she took the time to arrange something special. He knew it would be special. Fuelled by silly love. Fuelled by happiness.

She revealed to him her dress.

Nerves shot through her body. Silly again. But not nice.

He could have clapped. He could have laughed from her sheer brilliance. He could have hugged her right there and then, taking in her scent. He chose silly. "You look beyond amazing. Pretty. Beautiful. Stunning. Gorrrrgeous."

"And you're wrong."

"None of that now. I hope you weear that every day from now on."

"You're stupid!" she insisted, grinning.

She hadn't felt good when she slipped the dress on and threw over her blazer. And then, with his honest eyes on her, she felt incredible. Honest, silly, happy eyes.

The night went slowly on and they were both oh-so-grateful for this. They missed their train and yet, no bother. She insisted for him to ssh! "I have a plan!" She giggled and he followed her lead. They ran and ran until they reached their two sparkly drinks. "I can't believe you," he said, grinning. "And yet I can."

"You're panicking, aren't you?"

"What if we miss our train again?!"

"You're predictable, sweetheart. Luckily, I'm more of a go with the wind type of girl."

His mouth widened, as did his eyes. "And go with the wind, we shall!"

Before they knew it they were back at the train station and on their train. "Where are we going?" he grinned for the millionth time and butterflies flurried through her stomach. She hoped with everything in her that it was all to go smoothly and he would adore her plans. They giggle about their running to a pub and running back again, finding the whole night completely enchanting. Magical. Silly. Happy.

To cut a long and completely lovely story short, the night was glorious. Full of sparkles and grinning. And delicious food. "You did good, girl," he brought his girlfriend towards him and she happily obliged. "You're a bit lovely, aren't you?"

"After two years, you're finally realising?"

"I mean, I've had an inkling." He took a piece of her hair and blew it with a silly smile. "I might keep you for another two years."

"Well, you might," she winked and he gasped. It might have been comical had she not been thinking that she hoped he was right. And then right again and again and again and they would soon be entwined by the most magical years of memories, silliness and happiness.

"But really, thank you for tonight. It's been simply sensational."

"You're more than welcome, silly."

~

Sparkles & Twinkles,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Walk it Off

Walking has been the most therapeutic activity for me in the last week. I've been taking walks left, right and centre and they've brought me happiness, a sense of relieve and the time I've needed to think things out and get rid of any stress. I used to walk everywhere but I'm more likely to run or cycle now. From now on I'll be incorporating a lot more walking into my life. Knowing wandering along is super good for you physically and for me mentally makes it all the better.

I just cannot recommend anything more right now. Despite being very happy a lot of rubbish things are happening this summer- rubbish things I can deal with. One way being through walking. All walks have had a purpose to them, although I do intend to take some genuine walks- with no plan involved. Walking to work or to see a friend has been so beautifully calming. Relaxing. Lovely. Eye-opening. Relieving. Happy. Later I will be taking a walk just for that reason. To walk it all off.

Sitting inside frustrated or forming texts or making stupid angry noises just does nothing for me anymore. I need me. I've realised a lot over the last few years that the only person I really need - all the time - is me. Of course when it comes down to it we are the only person always there for us. Use yourself and love yourself and let yourself help you. When I'm walking, all alone and with my thoughts and the world, it's so easy to see clearer. To let myself talk to myself and tell me what I should do or show me different ways to help myself- other people and sad spaces only stunt my progression when they're quite clearly standing in the way. And all I want to do is progress.

I'm actually feeling a lot of pride in the decisions I am making recently. I'm using my head; I'm being smart. I am completely surrounded by negativity in three ways this summer. And last week it was only two! But I'm taking these negative sources and I'm calming the hell away from them. If that makes any sense. Everything is hard and awkward in these three particular ways- I am happy and I am fine but I am feeling incredibly uncomfortable in the three worse ways I ever have. But my walks have helped me massively.

I'm feeling positive. I'm feeling good. And if anyone tries to get in the way, well then I'll walk away... Literally!

Walks & Thoughts,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Feeling Thankful

Sometimes it can take that little bit of effort to feel thankful- and it's totally worth your while. This morning I was just in the mood to complain; seriously in the mood. I was bumbling along thinking about how tired and verging on run down I felt. I had a terrible headache and couldn't stop obsessing over the thought of a sleep in. I was more than just a big glum; I was a massive misery guts. Then, as I was walking down the street, I took in the slight breeze, the warm sun and the blue sky. I smiled at some dogs barking at each other. I smiled at it being about half nine on a Saturday morning and people were just starting to go about their business. I smiled at how calm and excited the street was.

And then it clicked.

Life is good.

Like, man, I have got it good.

My mind said these words aloud and I just felt free. My headache eased and my eyes woke a little.

It's summer and, by default, my absolute favourite time of the year. I always feel happy and busy and I wouldn't have it any other way. And just like that I felt myself feeling so grateful for all of my summer so far and all that is to come. I felt thankful for the life that is living around me and the life that is living within me. Corny, but a happy truth. I felt and feel so gloriously happy about the life I get to call mine.

I'm thankful for the weather being cheery and encouraging me to smile. I'm thankful for the yummy and healthy snacks I bought for work. I am incredibly thankful for the tea that was the final push towards my grin. I'm thankful for being alive, healthy and happy. I'm thankful for being able to be as busy as I am- with friends and with work. Because I'm a lucky girl and I can't ever forget this. I'm thankful for remembering I need to look after myself and get a good sleep in; say no to a few things; brighten myself up in the most natural way.

Be thankful today.

The Sun & A Cuppa,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Goodbye July

I blogged on the first day of July and now I am blogging on the last. This month was a sandwich with no filling and I feel pretty down about this. My blog is known to be super lonely over summer and I try to fight through this trend every year. And yet, here we are at the end of July 2016 with only two posts to show for it. Quite honestly I'm not sure why there is no filling- why I didn't sprinkle my blog with as much goodness as possible. However I do know that The Girl in the Moonlight still makes me so gloriously happy and genuinely fills me with a lot of love.

July was a testing month. And probably one of the best months of my life. All at the same time. It wasn't just these things though. It was hectic; full of laughter; full of books; full of fun; full of plans being carried out; full of love; full of too much anger that I don't want anymore.

I truly believe bad times help us appreciate the great; help us appreciate life; appreciate people. And when you have the bittersweet times full of really good and really bad times, the lines are both blurred and made clearer. I wonder how I can feel so happy when I'm so sad about something else- but the wonderful aspects teach me how to deal with the bad/how to analyse the situation/how to let go. I can't say I haven't felt drained from the sucky situations going on but I have most certainly been uplifted by the happiness, the amazing people in my life and the way I am feeling in general.

It's hard to be an anonymous blogger blogging about personal events but then I think that makes it all the more comfortable for me. And I think I gain a lot from talking about it so distantly. So I'll tell you what I have learnt from dealing with an unbearably unfair human in my life. From some challenging dealings with another human who makes it her absolute priority to choose impoliteness over any kind of kindness. The latter is less prominent in my life but I'll talk about this first.

I have never had to learn how to bite my tongue quite as much in the last month or so. Taking orders is something I can do- I thrive off of challenges and completing tasks gives me a sense of meaning. But taking orders from someone who rolls their eyes, patronises and makes you feel insignificant, not just in places isolated from others, but in front of people you care about/people you don't even know  is pretty darn tough. Humiliating. Kinda soul destroying. To anyone else experiencing this I think there are too perfectly acceptable ideas in regards to dealing with it. Even if it's not unbearable but you think you're happiness will improve, quit/remove yourself from situations where you have to deal with such discomfort/file complaints etc. Life is short and we shouldn't spend it feeling uncomfortable because of other people. Or if you can because of situational reasons (like me), understand that you're not patronising/aggressive/pretty impossible and fuel that in to being great at your job/being a friend/learning a new sport. Sucky people suck but the sucky situations can be removed or dealt with in a different way!

So not only have I learnt how to bite my tongue but I have learnt how not to let a particular individual in a particular situation transfer the miserable attitude and words into other parts of my life and importantly, the particular situation.

And then there's the first case- someone causing me far too much grief who stereotypically should treat me far from how he does. And so I quit that deal. All my life we have had massive differences and yet in the last few months he has said unforgivable things/acted disgustingly/never shown any remorse. Quite frankly whether it's a family member or an incredibly close friend we are allowed to quit. Being treated terribly and out happiness being compromised is not on. We choose who gets to be in our lives.

People can suck but they show you who matters and what life should be like. So while July has been testing the lessons it has shown me are invaluable. Priceless. But more than that: necessary. So while I say goodbye to July I say hello to August; a month that is welcomed by a blogger who has taught me that this blog makes me happier than these frustrating people; comforts me more than them; helps me through a lot.

I'm going to make sure the rest of The Girl in the Moonlight Summer Blog is a picnic- the best picnic ever!

Sandwiches & Strawberries,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Colour in with Positive

I have written about the power of words probably a few times on the blog. This time, I want to talk about this topic in the best possible way. I was thinking about when someone retold me something I once said to them and how they think about it when they are in a specific situation and it makes them feel better. I felt kind of sucky that I couldn't remember saying it but they said that I didn't realise it was a life-changing thing to say. Maybe it wouldn't be to everyone. But for them - right there and then - they needed to hear it.

After thinking about this for a while I realised many people have said what could seem like a meaningless statement but it has changed my perspective/helped me cope with something/made me smile for far longer than just the moment they said it in. How awesome is that?!

I think this whole concept is amazing. That one little thing - or big thing! - can really help someone. And yet I believe we could probably experience this awesome thing (taking someone's words and loving them for a long time beyond they are said) far more often than we do. We, as silly human beings, are probably more likely to let horrible words said to us stay in our hearts longer than the nice things. Silly silly silly.

I've become complacent in the most awesome way recently. Although I, a couple of days ago, spoke about my struggle with biting my tongue, a similar notion I have very much so improved with. I have experienced some utter rubbish from someone who is supposed to be pretty crucial in my life recently. Terrible, terrible words and thoughts have been thrown my way and originally I would catch them. Now I just throw them away. Not caring when it comes to people treating you terribly honestly is the way forward.

I now play to fill in this gap where I once used to care about such opinions. And I'm going to colour it in with all of the positive. I encourage complacency when it comes to evil and I suggest this gap must be filled with all of the wonderful life-changing nothings that can really help us. It'll create the sunniest picture.

Little Words & A Big Impact,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Biting One's Tongue

I feel like I have recently come across people and situations that have caused a feeling I find super ugly to feel- a specific version of frustrated and angry. I get worked up, whether I make it clear or not. If I settle my frustration (by saying something) I'm going to feel annoyed all the same and if I don't, I'll spend my time getting more worked up I never said anything. This whole process is not something I enjoy and yet it's not a feeling I can avoid.

I don't consider myself an argumentative person but I'm not very good at biting my tongue. I don't want to call this a bad thing but at the same time I do need to master the art of biting my tongue. Mainly for my own peace because there are more things that matter. I feel this frustrated feeling bubbling up inside me (which is likely to end in me saying something) in front of people who have said or done something I believe is wrong and I want to make it clear I believe they are wrong. And yet the feeling of correcting someone in situations like this (I will only be this frustrated if someone has been out of line) doesn't feel much better than the feeling of frustration.

This feeling comes from a certain situation I'm trying to pinpoint but can't quite. I will always believe standing up for everything I believe in is a must but it's the little frustrating things... the frustrating people that I'm not sure about anymore. It's definitely context dependent but I want to improve on ignoring the incredibly frustrating people that make disgusting comments.

More often than not, yes, I won't bite my tongue but it's because I'm faced with individuals who are genuinely testing and more often and not, they bite back in a careless way. Whether they do or not, they don't care and it frustrates me that I've spent time in my day caring about the whole situation.

I am in close contact with a couple of people right now who make me feel this "do I bite my tongue or do I go straight ahead" feeling and so I need to make a decision. Once again, it is context dependent but I'm going to work on not getting worked up and biting my tongue more and more.

Good Words & Love,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Both Are Brilliant

Last week I went to the cinema to watch Me Before You. I'm not going to go into how amazingincredibleohmygoodnesswow it was because I will write a film review, but today I want to touch upon one of the main themes. Although I don't think it's a spoiler, if you don't like any spoilers at all, look away now! (Well, for the whole post!)

Ambition and the different versions of ambition.

Before Will Traynor's accident he may as well have been nicknamed "Overreacher." His life was action-packed. He was constantly overreaching. There was nothing he wouldn't try; no sport he couldn't do. It was his main drive. And then it was taken away from him. Lou Clark, however, loves her home. She loves her job. She doesn't ever want to move or change.

Throughout the novel Will scolds her for her way of life. He calls it "boring." She disagrees. And yet they learn from each other. He sees the magic in her simplicity and she sees excitement in "different."

One might immediately call Lou less ambitious than Will. Less adventurous. Less "carpe diem." Yet I believe ambition isn't a notion to be pinpointed. Lou isn't less ambitious than Will; their ambitions are different. I personally definitely have Lou's love of simple things- books and the feeling of home. And yet I have a good smidge of Will's adventure (no where near as extreme though!): I love new challenges and running and pushing my body to my version of extremes. This makes my ambition different to Lou's and different to Will's; different to my mum's and different to my friends'.

It's ignorant to call someone else's ambition "less worthy" than our own expectation of ambition. It's ignorant for a million reasons but it's because we can't ever fully understand someone else's goals and norms and expectations. That's what goes on in their head... Not ours.

Importantly, what we can learn from differences in ambition is that we can take on others' ambition if we want to. In different ways, Will and Lou experienced each other's ambition and norms. Their characters develop from it. I have my own ambition- that is someone else's nightmare; someone else's "easy." And that is A-Okay. I personally want to feed off of others' ambition in the best possible way. I personally (which may not be the best route for others) want to stay true to my own ambition too. Both are possible. For me, both are brilliant.

Home & Away,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Thoughts on "Making It"

Yesterday I watched a video Carrie Hope Fletcher made about her thoughts on "making it" in life in general (HERE!). It sparked a lot of my own thoughts- my first ones matching up to hers. Like she says, I believe thinking you have hit all possible goals you've wanted to hit is a very dangerous way of thinking. It encourages complacency. It limits you and creates a "well it doesn't get better than this" attitude, which could make you happy or sad. I don't think it is always for the wrong reasons but my main aim in life is to develop and to always aim to be a better version of myself. Until my very last day on earth.

I thought I'd address the thought of "making it" by first thinking of my hobbies. I actually don't think I have ever thought I have "made it" in terms of running or writing (my favourite two hobbies), but I have considered the concept when thinking about these hobbies. For example, I want to run a marathon one day but I can't imagine ever participating in an event that involves more than 26 miles. I will run a marathon one day and I wonder how I'll keep my goals going after that day happens. Having this knowledge before I actually complete this goal does mean I should keep bettering myself- especially as there are a million ways to after running a marathon.

And then there's writing. More specifically writing with regards to my blog. The Girl in the Moonlight is an anonymous site and I do worry I'll eventually wonder how much further I can go with it. Once again, because I am thinking this now, it should mean I can always keep going. This worry, though, is a sadder version of "making it"- more like I could exhaust the hobby. I fear, because I won't be able to show anyone this blog, I'll think, well, what else can I do now? But that is a sadder version of "making it" that I don't wish to entertain.

I think the answer must be that we must always - at the highs and the lows - be thinking of how to keep bettering ourselves/ourselves with regards to something else (like a hobby).

Imagine my dream comes true and I actually publish a book. It's my absolute dream and one I really want to pursue in any way I possibly can. I don't ever want to think, "Well, I have done that now... what's next?" I want to think, "Let's start planning what IS next!" I don't want to stop at one book (even if I independently carry this out and there is next to no attention that comes with it), and I don't want publishing one meaning my creativity is stunted.

As humans, when we believe we have made it, we believe we have quitted- even if we technically haven't. Even if we have millions and millions of pounds from our company that is still booming, we might become obsessed with the money it brings us and think "I've got money... what else do I need?" We might not even be involved in the thing that is giving us such "happiness." We might think money is our companion- not love; not friendship; not hobbies outside of this thing we strive towards called money. That's not making it; that's the worst form of content.

I personally don't want to limit myself in any way- even if I only write a book that isn't even published. That's not just that. I can still blog; try to get articles published... the list is endless. Everything is endless. So how can anything be considered "making it"? Not one of us can do everything that we are capable of and want to do. Out of the endless possibilities for my life, I want to make as big of an impact in them as possible.

Goals & More Goals,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Reasons to Stay Alive - Matt Haig

Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig is the first book I will recommend to anyone. I don't even need anyone to ask for a recommendation- everyone needs to read this book. It is SO IMPORTANT that everyone read this book. It's an honest, brilliant and incredibly necessary portrayal of Matt Haig's struggle with mental health.

This book is a best friend for anyone: someone who is struggling with any mental illness; someone who has never experienced any mental health issues and wants to educate themselves about it all; someone who has never experienced any mental health issues but they are someone, like us all, who may; someone who knows someone struggling with mental health illnesses.

I'll say it one last time: everyone needs to read this book.

I always want to find out more about mental health and my want to know more won't stop here. But the lessons I learnt from this book will always stay with me. The book did teach me a lot about mental health that I didn't know before or had never crossed my mind. Ignorance in ways like this is fine if we are passionate in amending it. One main thing I took away is that pills work for some people but don't for others. Haig is very clear about this message and he shows his alternatives and I can imagine this is incredibly useful for those struggling.

Reading is an experience I find very personal and it becomes even more personal and meaningful when a story like Matt Haig's is in front of me. It meant I felt and feel very invested in anyone's life that is, has or will be affected by mental health issues. Reading such an honest account of depression is heartbreaking but cannot be ignored. Depression is of course a nasty, vicious character but it can be fought if we raise awareness and help everyone out.  

The book didn't just teach me- it uplifted me and gave me hope. It gave me hope for myself and for others. I think this book is an absolute treasure and is a book I will always be so glad I read.

Uplifted & Hopeful,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

P.S. I am sorry, once again, for the terrible photo and the fact enlarging it makes it very fuzzy... so I didn't enlarge!

Rainy Day Writing

I've had a lot of ideas for blog posts I want to write for a very long time now and yet when I've logged on to my blog I have been searching for different ideas to write about. And I like this. Today I will be writing a post that isn't one I have been planning to write which means I have lots more ideas to fulfil another day. And this thought brought me to this very post. Why I love writing. And so my first of many reasons that I just can't cover in one post for loving writing is that writing brings me endless ideas. It might not always feel like it but sometimes I'm so constantly inspired and ready that I feel like I have a lot of support behind me- presented by the ideas I have to write in the future!

Processing events - no matter how big or small - that I feel like I need to process are always best dealt with through writing. Whether it's on the blog or a piece of paper, if I'm happy/stressed/sad/inspired or any other kind of emotion, the best outlet for me is writing about it or because of it. Writing is especially helpful if I don't feel like talking is necessary or I've said all I want to say about something.

Writing is my version of someone else's singing; dancing; cooking. It's my version of someone else's writing. Writing is mine. And it's different to someone else's version. It's just one of my things. I love writing because I have my own special and personal experience with it. It's my way of unwinding and having fun. It's an experience I could never fully explain to someone else- not even in this post! I can't explain the joy it brings me. That's something only my pieces of writing and I know!

Writing is one of the effective methods of communication I choose. Some would choose dancing or singing or speaking. My favourite form to use is writing. To channel passion/adoration/happiness/frustration. It's once again an endless process. Whatever I want to do, I get to do!

Just to finish the post I'll tell you the main thing I have loved about writing today... Writing on a rainy day. Is there anything better?! It's a bit chilly; a bit rainy; a lotta grey. My head was getting a bit clouded with the many things I need to get done and I knew I was experiencing a headache brought on by me obsessing with thinking about it. So I headed over to my best friend, The Girl in the Moonlight and told her all about it. And now my headache has gone. Thank you rainy day, for making me all snug while I type, type, type away!

Rainy & Writing Days,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Aim: Humane

I have been at a loss for words since I found out about Christina Grimmie's death on Saturday morning. I adored the girl- she was an inspiration of mine from a young age. I don't know how to put into words what her YouTube videos meant to me and how devastated I am for her family and friends, and of course, her. And then the next morning I heard about the shooting in an Orlando gay night club and I just can't stomach it all. It seems like bad news after bad news and I started to question whether we do live in a world that's getting better and better.

Every death is devastating and I can't rate one death as "more tragic" than another- that wouldn't be right. But all deaths are different. And when a death is murder it's a kind of different that makes me so unbearably sad. Sad because I'm affected and sad because I can't imagine the pain of those close to the victims. As soon as a person is murdered they are victims in an entirely new way. "Victim" will often replace their names and that's all because of someone else. Because someone else couldn't perform the simple act of being humane.

Guns.

Christina Grimmie was many things. For me she was an idol (in an awesome sense of the word). I admired her singing and her attitude and her way of representing herself. A lot of our interests and lifestyle choices aren't the same and yet how she lived was a way I live/want to live. With kindness. With happiness. With doing what she loved. For others she was a sister/a daughter/a friend. And all because of one selfish man and a twisted view of the world, I no longer get to adore her singing voice and get excited about where she is going in life. And then there are her family and her friends and the plethora of things they are now missing.

Guns.

And then the Orlando gun shooting- a horrific event that produced a number of deaths I can't write down, injuries and the further confirmation that the world still doesn't see homosexuality as it damn well should: normal. The LGBT community responded admirably and with strength and I stand with them- as we all should. The poor victims; the poor families; the poor friends. All in a world that needs to stricter gun laws- I find it astounding guns are even allowed to be possessions across the world. It's an idea that's completely alien and disgusting to me. The right to bear arms is an Amendment in the Constitution I have no respect for. Stricter gun laws are the first damn necessity if America have to be so archaic. And then no guns. Please.

Guns.

And then as I was about to finish this post off I hear about Jo Cox, Labour MP: shot and stabbed. Another man injured too. There aren't too many facts right now but what I do know is that the world needs a telling off that results in a worldwide change in mentality. I am thinking about the victims of today's events constantly and hoping for the best.

Christina Grimmie only spread positivity. Not one person should die from being shot and I repeat no death can be deemed "more tragic" but I just can't fathom why she was shot. And then the shooting at Pulse night club in Orlando. Another set of lives marking another historical point where homosexuality somehow was the target. The poor, poor victims. Jo Cox- an MP; a mother; a wife; a person.

So for Christina Grimmie, the victims of the Orlando gay club shooting, Jo Cox and everyone past, present and future affected by guns, I pledge to carry on the conversation about limiting and abolishing guns. Do you?

Hope & Change,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

For Her and For Him

Alan and all of his friends know he isn't one to entertain loneliness. He doesn't know anyone else who thought of it in this way- that you can ignore loneliness. Some people find it infuriating; slightly ignorant. But since his wife had died ten years before and his kids had already flown the nest and begun their adult lives, Alan made the conscious decision to make some kind of peace with lonely.

And he doesn't feel ungrateful. Not at all. His eldest who lives three hours away with his kids and lovely wife visits at least twice a month; his middle kid making it big with her writing in London calls every night; his youngest boy living some kind of bachelor life Alan doesn't need to know about is always at his table for Sunday lunch every week. And Alan visits his kids and grandkids as much as he can- offering any help he can. His family is his life. But the rest of his life is full of hours which he does fill with emptiness.

He made a promise to his wife Katrina. A promise that even if he couldn't find love again when she died that he would be happy... For her; for him.

So, every week Alan falls into a routine. A routine Alan is happy to buddy up with. As soon as the sun rises on a Monday Alan goes for a jog. Despite being careful of his ageing knees and not being nearly as fit as he was once upon a time, he finds happiness in the friendship his feet find with the field he runs around. The rest of Monday is devoted to snooker with his friends at the club. He doesn't drink much but will nurse one drink on a Monday. Tuesday is a day for gardening. Wednesday is for cooking a fancy dinner- like a dinner he would make for his wife every Wednesday when she was alive. On Thursdays Alan plays golf with his best friend Mike. On Fridays he is invited round to Mike's house every week without fail to eat dinner with him and his wife, Angie. On Saturdays he has a lie in and reads a newspaper over a fry up. He watches sport on the TV and takes a long walk. After Johnny leaves following Sunday lunch and a catch up Alan will catch a film at the local cinema or watch the sunset if the sun is to set early in the evening.

One thing that rarely changes is his evenings. He places himself on the sofa next to the ghost of his wife and he watches TV. Some might call these evenings lonely but he is just making space for Katrina to come home. He knows that she's not coming home but spending the evenings how he and his wife would brings her back to his heart. He'll sometimes do a crossword or a word search to fill the space where he and his wife would play board games. Or he'll read a book; a book like they would choose to read together. Every Saturday they'd pop into town and buy two copies of the same book and without fail they would finish it by the end of the week and chat about it on one of the evenings that followed. A promise he made her without even asking is that he would keep this tradition and tell her all about the book on his weekly visit to see her. Although he never uttered the word "grave", they both sadly knew what he was referring to.

The life he lived with her might not have been sophisticated and exciting to some but it was his favourite life. The most fulfilling life he could have ever dreamed of. Before the kids, during the kids and once the kids had all left, Alan and Katrina had a beautiful life. They adored watching them grow into the wonderful humans they truly are and cherished their grandkids with all of their hearts. And as soon as the kids left they settled into this evening routine and it excited Alan every day.

For her and for him, Alan leads a pleasant life. He could choose to feel lonely when darkness drops and there is an empty space behind him, but she really is there. With him. Every step of the way.

~

Have a lovely Saturday!

Crosswords & Board Games,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Age-Old Excitement

I used to find a lot of friendship in watching films. Buying a new DVD - particularly the awesome £3-£5 ones you could pick up in ASDA - was one of my favourite things. I am pretty upset I have lost this habit (although my purse is probably thanking me). For me, one of the best things about the weekend arriving was the fact I could sit in my room on a Sunday and watch a couple of the films I'd watch on an almost weekly basis whilst watching old or new ones too.

Although I don't actually have the time for this anymore, I could totally make more time for watching at least one film at the weekend. As I used to think "films" as soon as I heard "weekend", I'd like to bring a smidge of this back. I would be completely disconnected from everything - even when I got my first phone - and I'd just enjoy a story. In my room... alone... with some of the best company in the world. At least that's what I believed.

I don't particularly watch TV anymore (I mostly just become attached to a series on Netflix every now and then) and even though I am happy about this, I think I have lost a bit of young excitement through ignoring the brilliance that is film. I do still recognise this young excitement feeling. Quite often actually. When I am reading a book with no other distractions around me; when McFly are making my ears happy; when I am writing. However I do need this one portion of young me back.

Activities I associate with my childhood will always be activities I cherish and adore. The conflict is that they also make me two kinds of nostalgic. One good. And one that makes me a bit teary (although that isn't always bad). I am a nostalgic human and I wish nostalgia didn't sometimes make me sad but I guess that means I care. And the film watching me that found absolute, whole excitement from being by herself and watching a film or three makes me grin.

As soon as possible I am going to stare at my DVD collection and have a real think. I am currently thinking about 13 Going on 30 or Freaky Friday or What Happens in Vegas. Whatever I choose I'm going to snuggle up in bed and forget the adult world and sink into one of my childhood/teenage favourite films.

What's something from your childhood that you want to start doing again?

Old & New Films,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

The Nervous Plant

I used to deal terribly with nerves. They would consume me and affect performance in regards to whatever event/thing I was anticipating. For me nerves were coupled with anxiety which I don't believe is always the case. It definitely was, for me, before a few years ago, but now any nerves I do feel will either be coupled with excitement or the knowledge that it will be okay/it will be great/it's not going to last for ever etc.

I actually think I was pretty dramatic when it came to exams. I blame my nerves for not doing as well as I wanted to with my GCSEs. It frustrates me to this day. However I don't get too worked up about it because I know I was very nervous, very fearful and very unsure how to deal with it all. The whole experience definitely taught me a few things about dealing with nerves. And I continued to learn- and not just when it came to exams.

So, if I'd have an exam around the age of 15/16 or a running event from 15 and below, the date of the exam/event or whatever it was would be planted in my brain. The nerves, anxiety and genuine fear would feel like it was growing and growing and growing. I actually think it never grew until the day or so before. The nervous plant was pretty tall in the first place. I would genuinely enjoy every day (even super good ones!) less because I was anticipating this date so much. Then, when it was a day or so before (even way before that too!), my whole body would be filled with dread. Complete and utter, terrifying dread. Then when it was the day and it was time, it was all I could think about, all I could talk about and it naturally made facing the task terrible. Sometimes I would chill out when I was taking part in whatever it was but sometimes I would just mess up/do way worse than I could have.

I would ignore that fact that EVERYBODY GET NERVES and yet now it's a massive comfort to me. Think about it- Obama gets nerves; your superhero mother gets nerves; your best friend also taking the exam gets nerves. It is far better to feel surrounded by people feeling the same or capable of feeling the same than to feel alone. And we could never be alone when it comes to feeling nerves.

Another thing is that anything I've experienced would never have caused the end of the world- I hope that's the same for all of us! When I was 16 and below I needed to focus on that way more. Really, nothing ended disastrously. So I should have sat back and enjoyed the ride as much as possible. I should have felt calm and aced everything as much as I could have. I know now more than ever that as long as you try hard, what does anything matter?

Another thing that springs to mind is preparation. It's key. I wasn't perfect from 17 onwards when it came to this and this year at university, I know I have not ever been 100% prepared. Sometimes I've really sucked. But when I know I have prepared well/as much as possible, what else can I do when the clock strikes 9am and I have an exam? When I'm sat at an exam table it does comfort me that I can't revise anymore- that's it! It's time.

Nerves can be nasty things, but it is possible to deal with them and even thrive with them- they can be your best friend if you want them to be/can find a way. You can even ignore them. When I started my first job, I simply refused to work myself up before the day. Completely ignoring the evil side of nerves works- they do go away! When it came to my first day I simply used my nerves and turned them into confidence. I faked it until I made it.

Nerves don't have to be scary. They don't even have to exist. But we can work wonders with them.

Calm & Excited,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Only Healthy Friendships

Friendships can be complicated things. I always wish they weren't but different friendships have taught me a plethora of things. I have learnt how to be patient through friendships; how to truly say sorry because of a couple of friendships; how sometimes a friend can really hurt you. A particularly new friendship has shown me how you can meet someone almost just like you and you can thrive happily with this discovered twin. And it is the best thing. I have witnessed such friendships which have had a hint of competitiveness, but I have seen and felt how brilliant this sort of friendship can  be without even a trace of any kind of negative emotion. This friendship among other awesome ones can mean I see faults in others I have and it's important to realise when enough is enough, when you are not benefiting from a friendship while another person may be and when a friendship causes you only upset rather than happiness.

So many friendships are important- friendships, like so much else, do need work. Friendships have varying levels of commitment and may have different purposes. Some that have existed for years and years aren't always better than friendships that have been formed only over a month- sometimes it really is the other way around. No matter what, we choose our friends and it's important to know we are allowed to distance ourselves or even get rid because of many reasons.

I have had a friend who has massively taken advantage of me. I have always wanted to be there for her for reasons I couldn't write down in this post but it doesn't mean she should have been allowed to treat me the ways she often did. I spent a lot of time I wanted to spend being there for her last year... Being there for her a lot. Because I wanted to. It's okay to want to be there for a friend from concern or worry but there are many reasons this can sometimes not be healthy- for I have many friendships where I can be there for them and not feel belittled or unworthy.

Being patronised is my absolute least favourite thing- something the friend in question is amazing at doing. Whenever I'd see her in person, I would know I would be belittled at least three times. And every time I would be. When phrased how she did, I could never find the funny side of it- it's belittling, unnecessary and a form of bullying disguised in a particularly evil way. Not only this but I had a stressful first year of uni and like any of us, I couldn't always answer the phone. Comments were frequently made about this- she found it so easy to passively aggressively tell me how I wasn't there for her on the occasions I wouldn't answer the phone.

Quite frankly, these kinds of friendships grind at me. I get frustrated, upset and ultimately so annoyed I dread talking to these people. When a friendship has run its course it's quite obvious to me; this one ran its course quite a while before I made a stand. I can't say I made a particularly good stand and it came at an awful time but life happens. However, even though all has not been said and closed, the loss of a friendship, I know, must be done, if more good than bad comes from it.

Friendship is one of my absolutely favourite things but they can become laced with bad things that can take up too much of our time and too many of our thoughts. Choose positivity over negativity. Always.

Good Friendships & Smiles,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Dancing for No Reason

It's been a tough year in terms of essays and exams at university. I have let myself down and partially it is because I had lost sight of how it is I find it easier to work. I stopped giving myself the best chance because I just couldn't find "my way" of writing essays/revising again. With the knowledge that these summer exams are very vital for me, I am so delighted that I have found a new way to revise, take it all in and feel confident (sometimes methods that did once work stop working). There is also a balance to working alongside university- letting university (college, school or general work) and education be your pal and not your enemy. Breaks are so important and filling them wisely (something that allows for relaxing or improving yourself in some way!) is absolutely necessary.

Dancing.

Without thinking too much into it I have repeatedly filled revision breaks (5-10 minutes ones) with dancing. I realised this this morning and chuckled. I am no dancer. I'll put a song on and just let loose. I can't explain how therapeutic. It feels like I'm a toddler and I need to let my energy out, but man, I need to let some energy out. Get rid of the tension.

I sometimes might accompany my dancing with singing and quite honestly, I'm having the best time ever. I had a friend round who was revising with me and we were finding it so hilarious and it put our minds in such a positive place. And that is so important. If I'm lacking motivation or panicking about something revision-y, my thoughts need a burst of long-lasting positivity.

It's so important to find ways of stress relief that suit you. Otherwise we drown in our misery and it's just such an unhealthy way of working. I definitely intend to transfer this stress-relief technique into other areas of my life. I have spoken about before when my mother and I will dance around in the kitchen and I realise I get the same grin on my face. Finding that happiness in a stressful time will always make it a smidge-a big smidge better.

Of course there are other ways to let loose when your mind set is tight and uncomfortable, but if you haven't tried it, please give it a go! This post was my little "me time" after revision for now, but my next break is going to involve dancing to McFly. It's going to be awesome.

Dancing & Singing,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Today

Of course we are all allowed to make mistakes (okay, there are boundaries), be in bad moods and say the wrong things... However these kinds of things don't define us as long as we accept responsibility when we are wrong, we apologise and we act there onwards with our previous mistake in mind. We don't do it again or we learn how to deal with certain situations better. We improve. Even if there's a one step forward, two steps backwards kind of thing going on.

One thing, though, I have learnt very recently (although it has been at bay for quite a few years now) is that it is most certainly about what we do in our lives that should define us ultimately. Morbid, yes, but I mean when we die we can't expect people to forget how we've acted if we are constantly nasty, unreasonable and never willing to apologise and improve ourselves. And it's for ourselves that we need to help ourselves today (of course it's for others too). I would hate to die (I am cringing writing this but I should be posting a post about taboos like death very soon and so I don't think I should be cringing) and for fake words to be said about me: people saying that I was great person but they don't really mean it. The thought makes me incredibly sad. I want any thoughts about me to be as awesome as I can possible make them. As good. As sincere as possible.

And this means loving today. Being there for people today. Being there for myself today. Trying hard for myself today. Cheering people up today. I won't be losing my temper; I won't be stooping as low as those who may try to bring me down. Not today. Not ever. I will be snapping out of bad moods as quickly as possible and loving as much as possible every day. Starting with today.

I have learnt this lesson from someone too close to me. It should be how someone acts that defines our feelings towards them. Once it's pushed too far, it's time to move on. They can try to make you feel bad about it but it's their actions that have caused this reaction. It might suck; it might be hard. Because we cared. But sometimes you've got to just move on. I shouldn't keep forgiving because maybe one day a leopard might just change their spots. Too much hurt has been caused and I'm out of there.

Anything could happen today/tomorrow/in a month. So if negativity has been pushed too far, get rid of it! Use the negativity people want to create and form it into an awesome outlook- think, at least I don't thrive off of making people unhappy! At least I think before I speak. At least I can realise when I am being unreasonable and take a few moments. It's so important that we know what is important in our life. That positivity is crucial- and if we can't find it, any steps that can contribute to positivity as soon as possible. When we know what is important in our lives while being a good person, we can be the happiest.

Don't wait until tomorrow to learn. To love. To live.

Today & Tomorrow,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Creatively Charged

A couple of weeks ago I was watching a video by Carrie Hope Fletcher and she was talking about how creatively charged she was/is! The phrase immediately provoked my own thoughts about it and I knew instantly the idea was relevant to me, particularly at the time. And, thankfully, it still is! I want to talk about my thoughts related to this phrase and how it is definitely applying to my life right now. Also, I want to speak about how I ultimately always seek to be creatively charged; however that may be. It's very important to me.

To be creatively charged is to feel excited and yet relaxed. It's to feel at home. Something in me feels accomplished and settled and like I'm snuggled up on the sofa with a blanket when I am creatively charged- even if I can't yet produce my creativity. It's like all that I've wanted has come true. I've worked hard and been rewarded by the loveliest night in. I grin a lot when my creative charge is on full battery. Or near it. I love that feeling. Why would I not adore a feeling that makes me so full of sunshine?

Back to a couple of weeks ago. I had a lot, a lot of ideas to blog about. Ideas that weren't even just a title/a thought. I knew I could write all of them if I had the time to sit down and not use my laptop for university work only (I had to use breaks as my exercise/talking to people time). This very post is an example of just that! I was - what felt like - constantly inspired and thinking of ideas to write about. I didn't have the choice but to only write the main thought/title down with any other thoughts, put it a little - but never completely - more further to the back of my mind (of course I was still thinking a lot about it all and more!) and learn to prioritise.

An aim for me is to always be a type of prepared that means I can still read, write and exercise. I am good with making sure I exercise (a horn that should be tooted- for all of us!), but books (despite being my favourite thing) can easily be neglected- and my writing too. However university has become increasingly time consuming and it has had to be at the forefront of my mind. Now, with some moments to spare, I must fuel my creatively charged heart, soul and fingers.

I've written about it before in another way, but I always want to be creatively charged. Always. Even if it's to a lesser extent, it is one of the most fulfilling feelings to feel like my mind is full of ideas that make me only see rainbows when it rains. It's so much more rainy when my creative charge is running out of battery. Yes, it sucks when I simply can't accommodate to my creative charge, but that is very exciting in comparison to no creative thoughts at all. Let's be thankful for that!

We are all different, of course. This isn't to say everyone should find a big slice of happiness in creativity, but I sure do encourage it!

Creative Charge & A Happy Heart,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

What About the "Everyday" Stories?

Today I have been thinking about a couple of particular stories (I won't name them so as not to spoil a single thing). One is a book and one is a film. I noticed, with the book, and so did my mother when she read the book after me and a friend when they watched the film adaptation, that the first chapters/scenes are characterised by normal, everyday events or memories. Then with the second story - which is one I have only experienced through the film adaptation - I noticed (as did others I watched it with) that the majority of the film is what could be considered as an "every day story." One friend even noted that as much as they were enjoying it, it seemed pointless until events at the end.

Now, of course, nothing about these two works is pointless when it comes to it being related to the "main event"- both stories build up to the event awesomely. I enjoyed reading and watching the "everydayness" up until the main plot was revealed. They are two of my favourite stories I've experienced being told through the medium of book or film. Today, though, it has occurred to me that there needs to be more "everyday" (a word that should not every been synonymous with pointless) stories told. I know there will be millions that exist and I haven't seen but stories we know or are heavily advertised are likely to involve a really big event. These stories are so important. Stories that talk about cancer or other illnesses; death; important lessons; an important friendship; a story of exploring and inventing... They are stories we need to see. Humankind will do well to listen to these stories.

Putting these amazing, brilliant, insightful and necessary stories aside, I think we need more stories without plot twists- without a particular theme that traditionally "grips" people. There are lots of stories I know about everyday people I can relate to- many that I adore. However something is missing in the world of stories. I know many would say these stories that seem normal/average (whether they are stories involving lots of happy characters or simply scenarios we have experienced or could experience) lack any real reason to be on our screen or in our hands.

I disagree.

I really am not disregarding the abundance of films that are very "everyday-y" but where's the story about a family... just about a family. No massive twist; maybe no massive character development. Or about the journey for a young girl wanting to become a teacher. On paper, yeah, okay, people would find this suggestion laughable. But aren't these real stories? So many of us have an interest in people and their lives- why wouldn't we want to read about these stories we can empathise with the most? I'm not disregarding "everyday" stories that may seem so different from my life personally- those count too!

I'm not sure where I'm going with these thoughts- but, hey, doesn't that just show that this random thought, for me, needed to be written down... Like a millionbilliontrillion stories we haven't discovered yet- maybe in fear of the world assuming they are too boring and too pointless, when in fact, I bet they're the stories that could become absolute favourites of all of ours.

What do you think?

Warm Air & Curly Hair,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

A Carriage of Open Books

The other day I was sat on a train and I was delighted and yet shocked to see more books out than I normally see; comfortably sat open in passengers’ hands. Different genres. Some fiction; some non-fiction; some fantasy; some historical books. I felt and feel so excited to have seen this. And yet, why was I shocked?

 

I was shocked because, like a lot of passengers, I am no stranger to wasting time on my phone (although recently I have been taking up a more “anti-procrastinating” outlook when it comes to situations like these). I was once on the train and I heard a lady say, “Look every young person is on their phone; there, there and there.” I was mortified she pointed at me before looking away. I felt targeted because it wasn’t really her place to say that although I do encourage less phone-using  and I was only on it to message my mum to quickly catch up with her during my day! And then I was going to get my book out. Instead, I pondered her comment for a while. At the end of the day, I do waste time on my phone and it's so much more important to me to read.

 

I was shocked I saw so many books because, in my head, there aren’t enough people who read.

 

Now that’s a broad statement, but a true one. I think everyone who possibly can should pick up books on at least a regular basis so there will never be enough people reading in my eyes. Too many of my friends, reading is lacklustre or not worth the time of day when I, of course, couldn’t ever believe this. Books enrich my life. In many different and valuable ways. And I honestly was surrounded by people reading on this train. And I bloomin’ adored it. We need to encourage books to be a way of relaxing, a source of hope and all of those good things.

 

We need to keep encouraging reading; encourage experiencing stories. Whenever possible. I do more often than not spend a good time reading on public transport. I want to make sure it's the first thing I do and when possible, so should every body else. To match all of the unique and different people in this world there are an uncountable amount of genres and stories that match any of our interests and hobbies and moods. There are books for everyone.

 

Naturally, reading is not the only way to be productive on a train, and at this time of the year, unless I’m treating a train journey as time to have me-time, I should be revising. As well as this, audiobooks are definitely a massive factor- they are awesome! But, seriously, my grin couldn't be kept off of my face when I saw a carriage of open books the other day. Let's make this not a surprising thing, but a thing to celebrate more often!

Open Books & Open Minds,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

When Shy Meets Sensible

He’s always been called shy and she’s always been called sensible. Ironically, those who would call him shy would also call him funny and excitable and those who would call her sensible say she’s occasionally outrageous and has a lot of fun. Y et they still were branded with just the one personality trait.

And then Shy met Sensible and they saw their own and each other’s sunshine more and more every day.

-

It was a Friday night and Sensible was very aware Shy was going to be there that evening. Nothing of the sort had crossed Shy’s mind. And yet, from that night on, he was more than aware of Sensible’s presence. Sensible put on her favourite dress and wished for a steady hand while she drew a line across her eyelid and made it as sharp as a knife. Shy buttoned up a short sleeve shirt and cringed at his appearance, not knowing that it was the very lovely face Sensible couldn’t wait to see.

By the time Sensible and her friends arrived at the bar, she was having a great night, and she just knew it could get better. She saw Shy standing with his friends, a drink in his hand. He looked like the loveliest form of content; he would never intrude but he knew how to enjoy it all. The boys greeted the girls and Sensible proved that yes, she might well be sensible, but that wasn't all there was to it. After being a little silly and everyone laughed she felt satisfied.

 

"Hey Shy, I'm Sensible- let's go and get a drink!"

 

Surprised but with a smile taking over his lips, they slipped away, giggling. Happy. Excited. Feeling brand new. Sensible didn't care that she knew and he knew that Shy wouldn't have known Sensible's name or that she even knew his; Shy simply knew he found it endearing.

 

Sensible continued to surprise everyone. Her favourite thing to do. Her sunshine shone and Shy realised how easy it was to become a new alter ego when he was with her: Confident. He knew that the butterflies in his stomach proved his appearance wrong but Sensible adored both sides to him. Sensible knew it wasn't an alter ego. It was just another part of beautiful him. They danced the months away; they laughed; they got nervous as they became closer and closer.

 

Summer came with complications and a few tears.

 

-

 

He's always been called shy and she's always been called sensible. They broke the laws of love but today they stand together. The sun shines and they say "I do." They laugh and grin at everyone they pass. They are thankful for everyone arriving. Mostly they are thankful for each other.

 

Sensible turns to shy and he follows her gaze. "Let's go and get a drink," he beats her to it.

~

Have a lovely, lovely day!

Shy & Sensible,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Thanking Every Opportunity

Today I have walked to a local park in order to read before I get on with exercise and then an afternoon/evening of university work (if I’m honest it hasn’t gone swimmingly in the last couple of days and so I want to make up for that from now on!) but I forgot my book. *Face palm.* Instead I’ve retrieved my notebook and a pen and I am using this spare time to write for the blog.

I would have been thankful to have used this hour to read but I’m equally thankful to not think “Oh, I’ll just do nothing instead” and instead fill the hour with doing. I do adore spending time just wandering or sitting in a park or chilling because I think it’s pretty good for the old soul, however I have thanked this moment that has been presented to me by not procrastinating and getting on with something I have wanted to get done.

For me, this time of year – when the sun can comes out and yet I have education to strongly consider – it’s important for me to feel prepared. Last year I most certainly did not. However I hate stress getting the better of me and exercise is one of the best forms of stress relief in my books. But so is doing stuff I want to do. Procrastinating and not doing anything is least fulfilling at this time of the year for me, even though it’s not particularly fulfilling any other time of year (and of course it is terrible with other deadlines and I most certainly need to improve on this). Another way I can relieve stress is through being outdoors and being proactive- at the same time or separately. It’s important for us not to get stressed and it is as important to me as doing well this year. And I really want to succeed.

Using every opportunity to do is effectively looking life in the face and saying thank you. And if we are having a hard time with life, it’s looking life in the face and saying “I will beat this.” Although life is the longest thing we will ever do, it is, in so many ways, the shortest. Because there is so much to do and not enough time. And so I want to take every moment, like I am today, to smile at life and saying thank you! To do, do and do.

The sun in shining again and it’s that weather where we all say, “When you’re in the sun it’s even warm/hot!” and I love it because we’re all getting excited and feeling motivated. Runners and running; people are walking; friends are chilling. We are enjoying life and people and opportunities and we are doing so with the utmost thanks.

 

No Stress & More Motivation,

 

The Girl in the Moonlight.

The Promise of Seeing Positive

It's a gorgeously sunny day and all day I've know I've wanted to blog but I really didn't know what about. I've been ignoring creativity a little bit because in the last week I've been focussing hard on eating well, exercising lots and working hard at university. However, I've also finally picked up a book and it transported me straight out of my reading slump.

Feeling positive is important to me. I think good vibes and being nice and feeling encouraged and all of those good things are so vital to the smile on my face. Horrible words and nasty attitudes, however, definitely don't secure any happiness over here. After feeling incredibly hard done by recently, this sunny day has lifted me an incredible amount. (Of course I aim to not be controlled by the weather but it definitely did help today!)

University was buzzing with happy early summer vibes and chitter and chatter and I immediately felt woken up- not just physically because my eyes opened up to positivity. Things being okay. Things will be okay. As soon as I was finished I saw a friend and my mind was massively taken off some things and I was reminded of other things going on. Not just the thing that seems central to my life right now.

I've completed my exercise routine for today in my last post so I am feeling pretty positive. I have had a read of an awesome book (review soon- it feels good to say that!) and so I'm feeling really ready. I need to get some university work done. I really need to work hard and definitely not procrastinate so I'm going to be doing 20/30 bursts of work followed by a bit of reading or something to relax a little bit. And I feel good.

People can be really terrible sometimes; sometimes when you least expect it. It can really knock me and push me a step back but I refuse for it to do so any longer. It's still bright in my room (man I love this time of year and the promise of what's to come!) and so I have three main things I'm hoping (and will!) do tonight!

Sun & Fun,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

P.S. This is a slightly rubbishy post but I've had a massive realisation today and I wanted to note it down- we really can find positive things from terrible circumstances!

Aim: To Workout My Week

One of the ways I find myself held accountable is through writing plans. Most commonly, I find this when I write down fitness plans. I'm going to write down my plan on here for the old blog today. I have done this before however I did so on my "A Little Running Diary" series but I thought it would be nice to separate it from that series.

♡ Monday 11th April ♡

Mondays are busy for me and so I'm going to keep my exercise pretty much just in the gym. At some time between three and six I will be taking a slow jog down to the gym. I will predominantly be doing the arms because it's my favourite area to train in the gym. In comparison to my legs my arms are quite weak but have definitely improved since starting at the gym. I will start on the rowing machine. I love the rowing machine. I'd never been on one before last year and now I couldn't gym without it. I will be on the resistant machines for the focus on my arms and I think I adore working my arms so much because it can really be a struggle but I adore breaking through it. Not only this but I will be doing ten minutes on the cross trainer. I used to very rarely go on the cross trainer but now I try to incorporate it into most, if not all, workouts in the gym.

♡ Tuesday 12th April ♡

From about two onwards I am free to workout and so I will be heading down to the gym sometime around then. At the gym I will work hard on my legs; once again using the resistant machines. I will also do lunges and tipey-toe walks with kettlebells- it works my calves so much! I will do ten minutes on the cross trainer and take a nice walk (remember walking counts- SO good for you!) home. I will keep myself hydrated throughout and on the way home, get back and fill up my water bottle and head out on a four mile run!

♡ Wednesday 13th April ♡

So long as my arms have recovered from Monday's arm session I will head to the gym early afternoon for the very same workout as Monday. I will be using the resistant machines that focus on arm and then I will use the rowing machine! Later in the afternoon I will head out on a run. I'm not sure how long or how fast- it's a "see where the day takes me" kind of run.

♡ Thursday 14th April ♡

Thursday will pretty much be my rest day. However if I'm feeling up to it I will be doing this routine x 3:

- 10 burpees
- 20 side lunges (10 on each leg)
- 10 press ups
- 12 sit ups
- 20 Spiderman planks (10 on each leg)
- Ski sit for as long as possible

♡ Friday 15th April ♡

On Friday I will be meeting a friend in the morning and cycling there and back. It will be about forty minutes worth of cycling which is so very good for the legs. At about five o'clock I will put on my running trainers and I'm hoping to run for six miles. A steady pace, I reckon- hopefully with some nice weather to accompany me.

 

♡ Saturday 16h April ♡

Most of Saturday I will be busy in a very non-exercise way. In the morning, therefore I will do the routine outlined on Thursday in the morning and at about five o'clock I will head out on a run. Another "not sure how long this will be but let's do it" kind of run.

♡ Sunday 17th April ♡

I'm going on a big walk with a friend on Sunday and so I will mostly count that as my exercise, however, beforehand I am going to go on a quick mile run- as fast as possible!

Of course if I am not able (for physical reasons) to complete any of these exercises then that is okay but other than that, I am feeling incredibly excited for this week! Not only am I ridiculously excited to get on this pretty busy exercise plan but I am excited to get ahead with university work. If I'm not at the gym or running about pretending to be Forrest Gump I will be in the library!

I've just eaten a lot of chocolate so I'm very excited to get into exercising and eating a better snack/meal next! What are your health plans for this week?

Happy exercising!

Socks & Trainers,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Refusing to Regret

Today I have been thinking about the simple thought that when it comes to things that are hard or come with a lack of motivation, we'll never regret doing that thing. For example, revising or going to the gym or having a word with someone when they've upset you. Anything like that! We can only regret not doing these things and, in turn, wondering what the benefits could have been. I don't like this feeling at all.

The days when I feel a bit "meh" about going on a run will always be the day that make me feel accomplished when I return. I could have run a mile or eight and I'll think, "Hey, I did it!" And I feel proud rather than full of regret. There are, of course, times when we're gutted we didn't do something but we have a valid reason as to why we couldn't. Illness. Other plans. Prioritising work and education. However when I can fit something in, I so strive to have the motivation to get up and go.

Last year at university, I didn't have the best time. This year I am loving it way, way more. I am much better at choosing to work harder. I say yes to no regrets and I head down to the library. I say yes to my friends far more and I jump, jump and jump. I'm a big believer in jumping and have been for a few years. Jumping - even if you fall - is normally so worth it because we can't regret.

Some of the most poignant moments in my life are poignant because of my active choice to make a moment/a day/my life happy. I am so lucky to be healthy and this factor always fuels me to run/to revise/to make a change. Some of the times I'm disappointed with myself rely on regret. The regret I've felt for not doing something/saying something. It's partially a carpe diem attitude I aspire to have, and partially a "head screwed on" aspect because it's when I think properly when I know I need to do something and secure the fact that I won't regret.

Life is precious for all of us and I refuse to regret. As long as I'm not hurting anyone or myself, I will - more often than not - choose the path to regret.

No Regrets & Disappointment,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Big or Small

We have so many thoughts in our head- so many. So many ideas and wonderings. So many questions. So much goes on in our heads. It's exciting for me! Despite the fact I blogged twice every day last month I feel really inspired at the moment. I gave myself a weekend and a few days off of blogging because I thought it would be wise but I'm so pumped. I feel so inspired.

We're complex beings, us humans, and it's so cool that we have a million and one ideas floating around our heads. It's so important to know that we can do something with them! Of course not all thoughts are lovely but we have the chance every day to speak about our ideas; do our ideas; change the world: big or small.

Big or small, we all have something to say. We all have something offer. And we are not limited to one medium. I often like to write my thoughts; however that might be. I like to release my ideas to the world. I think it's so important to share our ideas in that we could change the world for the better. Nastiness is not welcome and of course there are lots of reasons why we don't have to say ideas/shouldn't but stuff goes on in our head and it's worth sharing.

Despite being a very private person I do believe in communication. I believe things will never change without the idea being represented somehow. Of course things won't change if we don't say or do something to show why something should change or improve or whatever action really!

We have creative thoughts; logical ones; news ones that may have never even been expressed before. Use them all (within reason). Write them on a blog; tweet them; write letters; sing about them; dance to your thoughts; draw; create plans. Big or small, it all matters.

Thoughts & Plans,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Attached. Challenged. Happy.

Last month I blogged twice a day every day (an exception applies) and I woke up today finding it hard to stay away from the blog. March was very much a month that revolved around blogging. It was something that was on my mind a lot. Naturally it was difficult to not think blog blog blog and I think this feeling will stick around for a couple of days. It's a nice feeling to feel- to feel so attached to my blog and it got me thinking about other things we feel this way about. Attached. I was going to talk about the negative things we feel this way about, but hey, it's April! I find April to be a hopeful month so I'm going to be super positive!

Attached. Excited to do/see them again. Motivated. Might be a challenge. A happy challenge. Ready.

Sometimes this feeling can come around even when we least expect it. Sometimes I can feel so stressed about university (although I am working on my stress levels!) and then I'll enjoy a full day of lectures and feel like I'm really getting somewhere and suddenly, I'll feel so super motivated. That's an awesome feeling. University is getting so difficult but I am finding it in me to really enjoy learning. I'm excited to get back after Easter so I can work hard and feel happy. Having this feeling means I'm excited for my next lectures the next day- that's a good feeling to feel. I'll walk back to my house feeling so ready. Ready.

I feel it after exercise. I'll often feel so pumped that I can't wait for the next time I'm working out again. I hear friends and family always say this and it really is an awesome way to feel. And the time to exercise again will come about. If I'm injured I know not to be silly and to either not exercise/take it too far (depending on injury) and this can often make me even more ready for the next run/swim/gym session. Motivated.

I now have a challenge for myself. I have not read nearly enough this year. We are now jumping into the fourth month of 2016 and I'm so upset with how little I've read. It's been a stupidly busy year but I hate using this as an excuse. I miss reading so much and I'm reading an absolutely brilliant book. Reading always makes me feel happily attached to a story/characters/the words. Attached. As soon as possible please.

I'm not sure how my blogging schedule is going to look from now on. I hadn't assigned myself to one before March so I'm just going to see what happens. I definitely will stay away from the blog this weekend and maybe a couple of days into next week (we shall see!) and then we'll see what happens! The last month has been awesome for blogging but I do need to spread this strong focus onto university. Having said that I'm feeling more attached to my blog than ever and I'm very excited about this!

Hello April- I'm very attached to you!

April Showers & Sunshine,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Celebrating Ourselves

I think we, as humans, too often forget to celebrate. Achievements. New aspects of life. Other people. The life of another. Of course death is horrible, but I think it's so lovely when we find it in ourselves to focus on the celebration of someone's life when they pass. (I am by no means making a comment on every death- I think it's all very contextual in this post.) I'll talk about this now.

When my nan died the funeral was different to others I've been to. It was hopeful. Everyone noted that at the end too. We were told to remember but to laugh, not cry. To laugh at the funny things my nan would say. We were reminded of silly stories; ridiculous stories. And we laughed. Some would call her life simple; but it was hers. She feared a lot; she loved a lot. She was proud of all of her family. I loved her a lot. And we celebrated her that day and when we talk of her, we still celebrate her. I simply loved how we approached her funeral. We celebrated her life and smiled as if she was laughing with us.

My best friend is currently doing amazingly at work. He's climbing higher and higher and I said we should celebrate. He said no. No?! Oh we will, but why do we sometimes choose not to celebrate our achievements? We need to stop being so hard on ourselves. Of course there's a time and a place and we do have to work hard. But I really believe in playing harder (within reason). We especially deserve to celebrate ourselves when our hard work has paid off and we can sit back and say, "Hey, look at me!"

So, this is the very last post of my blogging challenge, eeeek! Despite a slip up, I am very pleased with myself- especially as I posted five times (in one day?!) yesterday! Even though I was so upset when I missed three posts in two days, posting twice a day this month has made me really happy. The stress to come with it has been minimal, too! I've pretty much completely enjoyed posting so many times. After this post I will have posted 62 times this month. How cool? How cool?! I'm really impressed and I think I'm also happy with the quality of posts in general. Yay! Challenge yourself- you'll be surprised at what you're capable of! And then keep surprising yourself!

I am very much so celebrating myself this evening. I'm having a cheeky fish and chips and shall have a chill. I'm not sure what my schedule is going to be from now on but I'm excited to carry on blogging! Blogging challenges can be so threatening and I have felt threatened previously but man, I enjoyed this month of blogging so much.

Started & Completed,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

P.S. If you'd like to read my last post, feel free to click HERE!

Society: Females aren't Funny

Girls and women are funny too! Society definitely portrays the idea that males take the lead in comedy. We see fewer women comedians; fewer women in roles on the TV where they are funny; males automatically assume a boy or man is funnier than a girl or woman. No, no, no, NO, NO!

It's so frustrating. I was watching an interview this morning where actor Arabella Weir was talking about her role in and the show in general Two Doors Down. She celebrated how the women in the show are funny and it's awesome. She says they're not funny at the expense of men. They are a bunch of women on a show showing society that us girls can be as funny as the next guy! I felt so delighted to watch this talented woman speak up for females.

This weird phenomenon of people believing that a boy or man is automatically funnier than a girl or woman just because of their gender is entirely sexist. Of course it is! It's casual sexism that has produced this stereotype that is entirely untrue. We simply can't stereotype like this.

Why would this be a biological thing? It simply makes no sense. No two babies (in this case: one boy; one girl) are born with an intrinsically set process whereby the boy will just be funnier than the girl. How ridiculous is that? It's simply an expectation produced by societal difference. If a girl or woman feels like they are less funny than a boy or woman despite being equally as funny it is because society tells us that is the way.

We are the only people that can change this. Celebrate us females and our genuine capability to make people laugh and be witty and make jokes. I do think I'm funny! I find so many of my girl friends absolutely hilarious in many different kinds of ways. We don't have to be funny! No one has to be funny. But we certainly shouldn't be told we just aren't in comparison to males!

Jokes & Laughs,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

P.S. This is the second to last post of my (trying to) post every day twice this month! You can read my last post HERE!

Tasting a Changing You

Taste buds are a funny thing aren't they? As a child I would eat bananas, then I went off of them and despised them and I now I adore them. I used to find fish a complete bore and now I am so into it! Especially since reading up about the incredible benefits of certain fish, I'll be so excited to sit down with a salmon pasta or a tuna sandwich! Seasons come and go; the clock keeps ticking; the sun rises and the sun sets. Life can be unexpected but there is a routine to it. And yet we are always changing.

Something I think is so exciting about our relationships with people is that people are always changing. We experience new things and feelings; we develop opinions; we open our eyes to concepts; we find new hobbies; we get better at things; we get worse at things; we learn happy lessons; we learns sad ones. People develop- of course they do! We can experience these changes alongside them. And vice versa.

In the last year I have become so much more adventurous with food. I've become better and cooking but also trying new foods. I'm so into researching healthy foods and working out how to incorporate them into my diet. The more I've tried, the more my taste buds have become interested. I feel like I've got a new set of taste buds. It's not just that over time mine have changed and I've started liking new things, but I think I've adjusted them to trying new things. I think that's pretty cool.

These are a few thoughts that have occurred to me today. They feel related. Part of people changing is their taste buds changing! The fact I love food I never used to or never thought I would makes me know I should always say yes to trying new things- not just food. These changes change me as a person. Treasure your loved ones. See how they change. Love how they change. Help them become better when they ask or need your help.

A Change & A Smile,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

P.S. I am blogging twice a day every day this month- the challenge is almost over eeeek! (Although with a slip up!) You can read my last post HERE!

Numb

She immediately remembers what sleep helped her to forget, as soon as she opens her eyes to the new spring air around her. She falls into her duvet; further and further. She squeezes her eyes shut too hard. She wants to sleep. She doesn't want to sleep. She's surprised to find herself enjoying the feeling of security her duvet is giving her. If it wasn't for that feeling she would assume her whole body has gone numb.

Numb.

She's never felt numb before. Not until the day before. Before then she didn't really know of the feeling. She wouldn't have been able to describe it, for sure. "It's for the best," he said. She wanted to scream that it couldn't be- how could it be for the best? But her body wasn't responding how it had been for the last sixteen years. She was stuck. Trapped. In the most amount of pain she'd ever experienced. And also the least amount of pain. Numb.

She hears moving about outside her bedroom door and she immediately finds rescue in her pillow. She closes her eyes and tries to breathe steadily. Asleep. Pretend to be asleep. "Honey?" her mother quietly disturbs the threatening silence in her room. She assumes her mother is looking at her. Sad. Worried. She continues to pretend to sleep and after a few minutes she leaves.

She lets out a big breath and feels instantly lighter. And then her chest feels tight. Was she supposed to avoid everyone for ever?

She argues with herself for a few moments. She begs herself not to look. She always knew it was a pointless struggle. She opens up pictures of her and him. Her and him. Numb. It's back.

She stares at her favourite photograph. It isn't the best quality and yet it represents one of her happiest nights. He took her out for dinner. Like a princess. That's how she felt. She is smiling in the picture. The happiest smile in the world. Until you see his. Maybe his is the happiest smile. He told her he is the luckiest boy alive that night. Despite the wars she has with herself, she believed him.

She believed everything.

Numb. She is becoming more numb. Is that possible? To become more numb doesn't make much sense, and yet she was feeling herself falling into more and more numbness.

She begs herself not to and she does anyway. With her thumb she strokes the happiest, loveliest face. "No," she whimpers and allows herself to fall into her tears. She loses grip of her phone. She cries. And cries. She cries until her mother runs in, hugs her and she wails. Numb. Numb.

~

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Hope & Future,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

P.S. I have managed to nearly catch myself up! I am blogging twice every day this month and have one more to write today before the last day tomorrow! You can read my last post HERE!

Being Honest

The topic of being honest is a very context dependent thing. This post is going to talk about being honest in terms of putting our hearts on the line; in terms of not letting go of opportunities in fear of being honest; in terms of choosing heart over fear so we don't have anything to regret.

I realised a couple of years ago how important it is to be honest. To jump. To use our words to make sure we have done everything to try and grab something that might just make us super happy. I hate regretting things- I hate regretting not doing things. And so I've learnt to jump. I'm not the most open person and yet I've really learnt how to be honest, feel no shame in it, and understand that in the cases I'm thinking of, "What is there to lose?" Nothing.

It's not always easy. It's sometimes incredibly nerve-wracking. I don't always do it right. I don't always do it. And yet I aim to be this kind of honest as much as possible. Sometimes I realise it's time to give up on an idea and that's okay too! We can be honest to a certain extent- and then it might have a negative affect. We might keep trying but hurt our hearts in the process.

Someone I love dearly is going through a break up and she's devastated. She's a very honest person- very up for putting her heart on the line and I respect her so much for that. She wants to tell him that she still wants their relationship so I said, "You do that!" Why limit our own happiness because we were too scared to say something?

I've really regretted not saying certain things sometimes. Things that would have made me much happier to say in comparison to the feeling of not saying them. And this is naturally still going to occur in my life. I want to take a step back when I want to be honest. Have a think. And jump. What is the worst that can happen?

Honesty & Jumping,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

P.S. I am (trying to) blog twice every day this month and you can read my last post HERE!