I blogged on the first day of July and now I am blogging on the last. This month was a sandwich with no filling and I feel pretty down about this. My blog is known to be super lonely over summer and I try to fight through this trend every year. And yet, here we are at the end of July 2016 with only two posts to show for it. Quite honestly I'm not sure why there is no filling- why I didn't sprinkle my blog with as much goodness as possible. However I do know that The Girl in the Moonlight still makes me so gloriously happy and genuinely fills me with a lot of love.
July was a testing month. And probably one of the best months of my life. All at the same time. It wasn't just these things though. It was hectic; full of laughter; full of books; full of fun; full of plans being carried out; full of love; full of too much anger that I don't want anymore.
I truly believe bad times help us appreciate the great; help us appreciate life; appreciate people. And when you have the bittersweet times full of really good and really bad times, the lines are both blurred and made clearer. I wonder how I can feel so happy when I'm so sad about something else- but the wonderful aspects teach me how to deal with the bad/how to analyse the situation/how to let go. I can't say I haven't felt drained from the sucky situations going on but I have most certainly been uplifted by the happiness, the amazing people in my life and the way I am feeling in general.
It's hard to be an anonymous blogger blogging about personal events but then I think that makes it all the more comfortable for me. And I think I gain a lot from talking about it so distantly. So I'll tell you what I have learnt from dealing with an unbearably unfair human in my life. From some challenging dealings with another human who makes it her absolute priority to choose impoliteness over any kind of kindness. The latter is less prominent in my life but I'll talk about this first.
I have never had to learn how to bite my tongue quite as much in the last month or so. Taking orders is something I can do- I thrive off of challenges and completing tasks gives me a sense of meaning. But taking orders from someone who rolls their eyes, patronises and makes you feel insignificant, not just in places isolated from others, but in front of people you care about/people you don't even know is pretty darn tough. Humiliating. Kinda soul destroying. To anyone else experiencing this I think there are too perfectly acceptable ideas in regards to dealing with it. Even if it's not unbearable but you think you're happiness will improve, quit/remove yourself from situations where you have to deal with such discomfort/file complaints etc. Life is short and we shouldn't spend it feeling uncomfortable because of other people. Or if you can because of situational reasons (like me), understand that you're not patronising/aggressive/pretty impossible and fuel that in to being great at your job/being a friend/learning a new sport. Sucky people suck but the sucky situations can be removed or dealt with in a different way!
So not only have I learnt how to bite my tongue but I have learnt how not to let a particular individual in a particular situation transfer the miserable attitude and words into other parts of my life and importantly, the particular situation.
And then there's the first case- someone causing me far too much grief who stereotypically should treat me far from how he does. And so I quit that deal. All my life we have had massive differences and yet in the last few months he has said unforgivable things/acted disgustingly/never shown any remorse. Quite frankly whether it's a family member or an incredibly close friend we are allowed to quit. Being treated terribly and out happiness being compromised is not on. We choose who gets to be in our lives.
People can suck but they show you who matters and what life should be like. So while July has been testing the lessons it has shown me are invaluable. Priceless. But more than that: necessary. So while I say goodbye to July I say hello to August; a month that is welcomed by a blogger who has taught me that this blog makes me happier than these frustrating people; comforts me more than them; helps me through a lot.
I'm going to make sure the rest of The Girl in the Moonlight Summer Blog is a picnic- the best picnic ever!
Sandwiches & Strawberries,
The Girl in the Moonlight.