I've seen and experienced myself that "heat of the moment thing"; in that moment, each word spoken and every movement made means everything and can feel aggravating and like it'll consume the rest of you for ever. In my experiences (note: my experiences), looking back, our pal hindsight can make moving on from these comments or actions a lot easier. In this way, hindsight is my best friend.
Feeling bitter is one of my least favourite things. And I've simply got no interest in holding grudges or preventing friendships or unresolved anger or sadness. I won't do it.
Naturally, if someone's given me good reason to avoid them and they're not interested in making amends, or they've done something awful, I won't build any bridge towards unnecessary sadness or drama. However, if someone else is apologetic and regretful or there has been misunderstanding that has lead to more complications, I am more than happy to work to build a bridge. After all, if I'm in the wrong, I'd like someone to see the situation similarly to how I'm seeing things right now.
Recently I have made a conscious effort to relieve tension and bad memories, for a few reasons. I don't feel sad about an event anymore; it's happened, apologies have been made, and I don't feel the need for the tension any more. I've started to remember the good memories, and the event that happened isn't worth ignoring the good memories for. In turn, I don't want to hold this grudge anymore. I really don't. It's tiring and unnecessary.
I've shared smiles with this person recently who I used to feel a little hard done by when I thought about them. At the end of the day, the "sorry" seemed to be meant, and the situation wasn't unforgivable in the first place- as sad as it made me feel. This person isn't someone who's going to continually bring me down and I'm glad we've found a way to move on.
I've felt a lot happier since letting go of the awkwardness, after moving on and forgiving. It might sound lame, but a weight really has been lifted, as I *feels dramatic and whispers*, walk across the bridge.
Butterscotch & Pink Buttons,
The Girl in the Moonlight.
P.S. Today should have been a "A Bit of Book Chatter" post, but I managed to restrain myself from buying any books this month!