College is over.
My current feelings
A concoction of "ahhhhh", "yaaay" and "ooooooo."
The process of an era
I feel like there are different stages to a thing (a thing like school/college/a relationship of some sort etc). There are different feelings that may seem real, but may be more than they seem in hindsight or whilst looking forward or in the moment:
Before: The new-ness
Anticipation. Excitement. Nerves.
During: The normal-ness
Routine. Boredom. Never-ending.
After: The weird-ness
Excitement. Regret. Memories.
The last two years have been two consisting of the *attempted* intake of a lot of new information, new and old friends, new experiences and a fair bit of stress.
The last two years have been hard. I like working hard, but it's been seriously hard. I don't regret the stress, but I do wish I could have been less stressed. Now it's over and I'm more than glad for these weeks stretched out in front of me. I'm glad to not be feeling guilty when I'm not revising and to not having to revise.
Yet there is something in me that is pulling at my stomach if I think too much about the fact that I've left college. I think it's partially the thought that maybe my childhood is defining what I do less and less, and more responsibility for myself is evident. I think it's also that the toughness of college, at points, overshadowed that I was meeting people and continuing friendships and having a good time. I hope I enjoyed the experience as much as I could. I know I had so much fun, but there was a few "but"s along the way.
However I am so excited for these weeks of sunshine (whether that be physically or merely in the mind) and my future when summer draws to a close. Ultimately I can't help repeatedly waking up and singing "summer, summer, summer" as if I were Troy Bolton. Despite my thoughts: It's summer and I couldn't be happier right now!
Live for today! It's the ending of an era, but the start of a new one too!
Books & Films,
The Girl in the Moonlight.