I've wanted to write about the concept of oblivion since I read The Fault In Our Stars last year. A year later and I've finally decided to put my thoughts into readable (potentially debatable) words on a screen.
A quick conclusion
These words will be forgotten; they will disappear completely one day. It doesn't mean that in between now and then (whether that be today, or in many years), that I can't keep thinking my thoughts and speaking them aloud.
In the Fault In Our Stars (spoiler alert), when Augustus is asked to share his fear, he replies that he fears "oblivion." In Hazel's response she suggests oblivion is inevitable; there will come a time when "all of this will have been for naught"; those big names we know now because they've been imprinted in our history will even be forgotten. Augustus fears not being remembered, not having made his print on the world; an Augustus-shaped footprint long forgotten.
Another conclusion-y thought
Is oblivion something to be feared? I think it's something to embrace. Just because what I do will be forgotten, it doesn't mean that I'm going to stop treating people as kindly as I can; it doesn't mean that I won't apologise when I've slipped up and been less kind.
A rambl-y paragraph
I feel like my blog itself can be highly related to the concept of oblivion; the very opposite of oblivion, perhaps. I often fear that the concept of my anonymous blog; the name, "The Girl in the Moonlight" itself (which I cringe at when I think too much into it- although for this next reason only), is one that appears pretentious. Would people, if they thought about it, think I'm being passive aggressive (not the right word, but a somewhat similar action I envision), I often think. Do people think there is more to my act of carrying on with this blog than there is? I love my blog because it's me. I can quietly express my thoughts... for me. This blog isn't an avoidance of oblivion; I am not hoping to be remembered because of this blog. The very opposite, in fact.
Reflected in oblivion being an abstract, intangible thing is that it is not a fear or thing in my life. Everything I do doesn't have to be for a long-term meaning - and maybe not even a short-term meaning -; I'm doing it because it matters, because it's happening in that moment, and may be happening afterwards too. Ultimately oblivion shouldn't suggest that everything is meaningless and pointless. This blog isn't meaningless because no one can attach a name or face to it, or because it's not read by so many people that I can't picture that amount; I do it for me. I write blog posts because my blog is meaningful to me. I write my thoughts because they matter. I talk my thoughts because they matter. I don't create friendships with people to be remembered; I do it for me... To live the life I want with the people I want to share it with. I don't live to create a name; to be remembered for ever. I live to matter to myself and to the others I want to matter to, creating and losing (for whatever reasons) friendships and smiles and memories along the way.
Sure, oblivion, in my eyes, is inevitable, but it doesn't make my life, and the things in it and the actions I do, meaningless.
What do you think about oblivion?
Dark Skies & Sparkly Nails,
The Girl in the Moonlight.