Monday, 12 January 2015

Dear Diary | Panic

Recently, I've had that feeling in my gut; the really unsettling feeling: the feeling of panic.

As I want this year to be even more awesome than last year if I can help it, I have decided to resolve how unsettled I feel through doing what makes me feel most settled: writing.

I am feeling very overwhelmed, stressed, mixed in with an intense feeling of struggling. I do believe our generation can feel an unbelievable amount of pressure and it can come to a point where failing appears to be the only possible outcome. I feel so helpless in this very moment. It's exam time and I am in a state of panic. I want to be positive and give myself the best chance; be calm and relaxed. So, here I am, telling you about it.

I am revising. I am not feeling great about it.

I think I am afraid of failing, as well as the fact that, right now, it feels like I can't stop it.

I have been sat with my revision, staring at words, feeling very nervous. Very helpless. Exams are not far off and I just don't know how to proceed with my revision at this point in time. I feel very blocked and negative and I really don't like this.

I want to make this year seriously good, and so I'm going tell myself that thing we hear a lot: "Just try your best." It's all I can do, and it's all I will do. I have spent too long being panicked and after writing this post, I am feeling calmer, my mind is feeling clearer. I am going to get myself a glass of water, sit myself down with no distractions and do twenty minutes sessions of revision with a ten minute break for a few hours. I'm going to do my best.

I'm going to try not to be afraid of this anymore, because without a little rain, there is never a rainbow. It's okay not to do okay sometimes. And if I do my best, then at least I know that.

Pens & Pencils,

The Girl in the Moonlight.


  1. As someone with an anxiety disorder, I feel your pain. Most days I wake up with a sense of impending doom, or can't sleep because I'm too busy mulling over all the things that could go wrong... I know it's not fun. But it does get better, I promise. Exams always triggered my anxiety - there really is far too much pressure put on people at such a young age. At the end of the day, failures are something to learn from. You can easily resit - one low mark doesn't have to mean The End. Keep going, and you'll get through.
    Beth x


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