Building Bridges

I've seen and experienced myself that "heat of the moment thing"; in that moment, each word spoken and every movement made means everything and can feel aggravating and like it'll consume the rest of you for ever. In my experiences (note: my experiences), looking back, our pal hindsight can make moving on from these comments or actions a lot easier. In this way, hindsight is my best friend.

Feeling bitter is one of my least favourite things. And I've simply got no interest in holding grudges or preventing friendships or unresolved anger or sadness. I won't do it.

Naturally, if someone's given me good reason to avoid them and they're not interested in making amends, or they've done something awful, I won't build any bridge towards unnecessary sadness or drama. However, if someone else is apologetic and regretful or there has been misunderstanding that has lead to more complications, I am more than happy to work to build a bridge. After all, if I'm in the wrong, I'd like someone to see the situation similarly to how I'm seeing things right now.

Recently I have made a conscious effort to relieve tension and bad memories, for a few reasons. I don't feel sad about an event anymore; it's happened, apologies have been made, and I don't feel the need for the tension any more. I've started to remember the good memories, and the event that happened isn't worth ignoring the good memories for. In turn, I don't want to hold this grudge anymore. I really don't. It's tiring and unnecessary.

I've shared smiles with this person recently who I used to feel a little hard done by when I thought about them. At the end of the day, the "sorry" seemed to be meant, and the situation wasn't unforgivable in the first place- as sad as it made me feel. This person isn't someone who's going to continually bring me down and I'm glad we've found a way to move on.

I've felt a lot happier since letting go of the awkwardness, after moving on and forgiving. It might sound lame, but a weight really has been lifted, as I *feels dramatic and whispers*, walk across the bridge.

Butterscotch & Pink Buttons,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

P.S. Today should have been a "A Bit of Book Chatter" post, but I managed to restrain myself from buying any books this month!

An Old Book | A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks

I started this "An Old Book" series a while ago to make sure I am including books I read a long time ago on my blog. Seen as I am a quality book keeper (the type that buys too many books and keeps them for ever), it seems only right to reminisce over them, as they stay in my heart as much as they do in my bedroom.


























I adore this novel (italic-worthy and everything), and it is a tale that taught me a lot, and had me engrossed with its company for a lot less than a day.

Jamie Sullivan is quiet; Landon Carter is not. Jamie Sullivan is synonymous, to people around her, with Christianity; Landon Carter is not. Walking on completely different paths through life, the two teenagers become closer and closer, spending time together in a far from predictable way; learning about each other slowly; beautifully. Growing with each other; sharing memories that can't be forgotten.

It's a relatively short story, packed with emotion, which is most certainly helped by the perspective. Landon is looking back at his and Jamie's story. In this way, the story is soaked with solemnly happy reminiscing; with memories, and words-that-were-said, and thoughtful sighs. There's nothing like a bit of hindsight to make me teary. It's heart-breaking, though. It's one of Nicholas Sparks's treasures that breaks my heart while teaching it something valuable.

A Walk to Remember is a lesson of leading an honest life while doing the things we love, opening our hearts and believing in something. It teaches how two people (even if hidden) can have and learn to have similar values, despite being completely different. This book glows heart and warmth, and happiness beyond the sadness.

I've given this book as a present for a few of my friends. One isn't a big reader but told me this is their favourite book. It really is a stunning read.

Walks & Stars,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Lift and Fall

It was always when Kevin's feet fell easily into the lift and fall of his morning run that his mind also fell into an easy routine. It always involved thinking about what business meetings he had to attend in the following week, the strategy sessions he had to arrange, before his mind would wander to his mother alone at his family home and then to fretting about needing to call Seb and Julie and Mark too.

That morning, when the sun was particularly high and his mind was in full swing, he suddenly thought of Andrea in that red dress. Her hair looked like a golden waterfall and her cheeks were a little red; her eyes green like apple juice. Her feet were smiling in the black heels he'd bought her that Christmas. "You did good," she'd said with a grin when she unwrapped them.

He could feel sweat on his forehead now, and he knew this run would be one that would motivate him throughout the day. It was only a little sweat, and mostly because of the sun, but it was satisfying. His hands were enjoying the heat and with time, he knew his t-shirt would be damp with ambition. Ambition to forget.

Then the thought of Molly entered his mind. For a second Kevin shut his eyes hard, but the image wouldn't budge. Sweet in a light blue tea dress, a white cardigan and orange fingernails, she smiled nicely at Kevin as she put his coffee on his desk and giggled with embarrassment as the coffee spilt over the edge. "Hey, don't worry about that," Kevin said, trying not to seem rude while being flustered and ignoring the smile creeping on his lips while she smiled a gorgeous smile back at him.

He isolated his thoughts for a moment with a sip of water. He cursed himself briefly, but then ignored where his mind was heading.

Weak; helpless; alone.

He didn't even know who he was applying these thoughts to. It could have been to either of them.

Molly had worked late the evening before. She oozed ambition and yearned for confidence, but her eyes gave her away. But there was something else there. Something gorgeously hard-working, and sweet too. Whenever she looked at him, her eyes felt like sun rays on a Saturday afternoon; pleasant and far from overbearing and unwelcome.

He hated himself for that a little.

His feet weren't moving as swiftly and evenly as Kevin was used to. He frowned and before he knew it, he tripped, and had bloody hands. Frustrated, Kevin rolled his eyes and headed home.

Pushing forward the hospital room door, Kevin's heart began to race faster; palms sweaty; throat in need of water. There in front of him lay Andrea, attached unwillingly to pieces of machinery; attached to a heart-wrenching truth that nagged violently at Kevin's heart, night and day.

Kevin pulls out the flowers from behind his back. "We always thought red roses were generic, didn't we? For the books and the movies and the songs." Kevin let a single tear roll down his cheek. "This isn't a movie sweetheart."

~

Red Dresses & Red Roses,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Magic

I like the feeling of magic. The feeling of both contentment and excitement, to me, is magic.

Waking up with blue skies recently is most certainly a help towards the feeling I'm feeling, but yet, I realised I've been feeling, despite all the stress of this year, pretty positive for a long time. Last year I wrote THIS post, talking about a happy feeling I was feeling, and right now I feel like what I'm experiencing right now and what I have been feeling a lot since that post is that same feeling.

I love that feeling.

I don't want this to come off as though I'm wanting to shove the sunshine I'm feeling in everyone's faces, I've just witnessed myself and my friends realising some adult-y things that have, in turn, made us happier. We, I believe, have decided that we have to do the things we love doing, have fun and take the chances that we feel we should. We're carpe diem-ing life a lot. Things are going to change in less that two months. I believe some things will stay the same, including the friendships I have, but life is going to get more adult for us.

And yet I feel magic.

The people around me are making me very happy, as are the books I'm reading, the posts I'm writing, and the days I'm having. I know happiness can't be a conscious decision for some people, but last year I decided I would be as smiley as I could be as often as I could be, and the sunshine above me is echoed in my every day life.

Grins. There have been a lot of grins.

I'm feeling tingly and giggly and my heart is full with smiles. Smiles that have been existing with the help of others and myself too. Magic to me, is my blog and the people around me and, right now, summer. I'm grateful for it all.

Rainbows have been created in my tummy and they make me know that magic really does exist.

What's magic to you?

Slush Puppies & Popping Candy,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

My 3 Favourite Nicholas Sparks Heroines

When I think about what's synonymous with my blog, it must be said that Nicholas Sparks's works are one thing that are! I adore reading his words and I adore writing about them too! With this in mind, I love a good list and, today, is another one of my "favourite" Nicholas Sparks posts. I've wanted to talk about my favourite females in his novels for a long time and, trying to put aside too much that isn't the female's personality, I will name my favourite Sparks ladies and what it is about them that I love!

*Contains traces of spoiler.*

♡ Ronnie from The Last Song

A little "off of the path she should be on", Ronnie is a character that is fuelled by fire. Although it is sometimes anger that is the result of this fire, it is often passion too, and this becomes more and more prominent throughout the novel. It makes Ronnie incredibly endearing because she opens her heart, and she's honest and she forgives and she learns. I love that she's completely okay with who she is, and that her uniqueness brings out the best in Will.

♡ Katie from Safe Haven

Katie is incredibly heroic to me. She faces her fears and moves on, making a new life for herself to bring herself happiness. She's looking out for herself and it's so admirable. I love that she is guarded in order to protect herself but finds herself opening up her world to one she wouldn't have imagined when she first found her haven.

♡ Jamie from A Walk to Remember

Jamie is quiet and passionate, and I can't help but adore her. She knows who she is and makes no apologies for it. She struggles and still finds a way to be incredibly positive. Although I'd never blame someone for not having her positivity in her position, Jamie is nothing but heroic to me. Her attitude, in turn, changes Landon, and creates a love that makes my heart so happy.

It must be said that one thing all three of these characters share is their absolute strength and willingness to sacrifice. In their situations, Nicholas Sparks makes them such admirable characters in this way, and these ladies make my heart glow with smiles.

Beaches & Sandcastles,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

My Thing

I live quite close to London and so am often seeing the busyness of the people of London; the purpose in their walks. I spent a few days there very recently and it made me think.

I saw the businessmen and the businesswomen, the men and women in suits with briefcases, the buskers and the people with a stride that spelt out "on a mission." We're taught to work and walk towards "purpose", whatever that may be. This notion is particularly obvious to see when I'm in London, and despite how often I'm there, I never get sick of the sight. There are many different types of purpose (family-wise/career-wise/yourself-wise etc), and I love witnessing people do their "thing", with meaning and passion in their expression.

People often search for their "thing", their calling; where they're meant to "be."

It sounds like a tough adventure to me.

I'll skip to the conclusion really quickly

Your "thing" can be anything now, and a plethora of things later.

Back to the middle part

I hope that in the future, one of my "things" will be my career. I'll love what I do, and I'll beam when I think about it. I'll be somewhere doing something to do with writing; someone else's writing, or maybe mine. Either way, I am determined it'll be my "thing."

It's also my "thing" right now.

I also want many other "things" to be "things" of mine: friends I love; family I love; hobbies I love; the me I love.

In THIS post Louise wrote about people trying to be different things, and that while you're "giving 100%", these per cents are spread around different things. She says she wants to give all of her per cents to her daughter. It doesn't mean she doesn't give other per cents to other things and people. It makes it clear to me that while many things can be "your thing", some are more deserving of your per cents, or that "thing" needs it more, or you want to give it more. It doesn't mean other "things" aren't yours to assign to you, but it can mean that some are more important; more vital to your being.

Purpose, I believe, can be a lot like having hope. Both, I hope to always believe, are always possible. It might be hard to see sometimes, but we all have a purpose and we all have hope, even if oblivion is something attempting to stand in our way. Like I've written about very recently, I don't believe this is necessary.

London shouts a lot of things; one of them is the plethora of "things" that bring purpose to people's lives. I love that.

Bright Eyes & Happy Strides,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Familiar Faces

One of my least favourite things is circumstance altering the people we see. Whether it be time or distance, or something that isn't because one person and another (or others) have had a disagreement or have wanted to part ways, I dislike not being able to meet up with someone or people because there's simply quiet between them, although neither party has reason for this, or even wants it to be this way.

College has meant people have drifted from one another, but yet I feel really lucky having kept all of my favourite people from two years ago. More recently has highly contributed to this. I've felt even more lucky because I've been spending a lot of time with a bunch of people I adore being around and have missed so much from two years ago.

Familiar faces are, simply put, awesome.

Summer is everything perfect at the moment, and seeing a bunch of people that I've missed seeing most days for five years of my life has been refreshing and a happy (and unneeded) reminder how well we all get on. These summer nights have meant a lot of laughter, and silly chats, and a catch up on how our lives have changed and stayed the same over the last two years. They've meant old memories being shared and jokes we'd forgotten grinned at. They've meant talking about the future and being excited and nervous together. They've meant little, knowing smiles when we've parted again, knowing these evenings will be happening again soon.

If you miss someone or a group of people and they've never done anything to make sense of the reason you're not close anymore, make the effort! If you soon find out they're not willing to make the effort back, at least you know that it's not worth it. Quite frankly, I put in some effort because I missed a bunch of people and a plethora of factors had been getting in the way, and now we're all mutually making the effort, and I couldn't be more grateful!

These familiar faces have made summer even more awesome.

Old Stories & Jokes,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Too Many Words, Too Little Time

♥     ♥     ♥

The weekend had gone too quickly and Amanda had that gutting feeling of being back at college in her stomach, but her excited best friend talking quickly beside her made her smile. "Yeah, and then my dad told him to get lost..." Nancy carried on as Amanda watched Freddy from her Geography class retrieve books from his locker.

"And then the rat began to speak and-"

"What?" Amanda stared at her.

Nancy grinned. "You weren't listening to me and I'm your best friend and, yes, Freddy is as handsome as pie on a Friday evening, but I repeat: I'm your best friend."

Amanda tried to ignore her comment about Freddy and hoped her cheeks weren't giving her away and said back, "No. I'm your best friend. I just hang out with you because your mum asked my mum if I could spend time with you every now and then."

Nancy poked her tongue out and then said, "He's wearing black skinny jeans. Oh, you know I love a guy in black skinny jeans."

Amanda rolled her eyes as they past Freddy but noted that, yes, those jeans were really something.

*       *       *

At lunch, Amanda pulled her books out of her bag, knowing she needed to get work done. Her shift that night would finish at ten and by the time she got home, she'd be shattered and in need of sleep. Working in a restaurant as the sun reminded England it was summer was tough. All she wanted was to be sat in the garden at home or be out with Nancy or reading a book. Instead, she would become unbearably hot, serving cold drinks that she wanted to slurp herself. As she scribbled notes about French verbs, she noted that it would all be worth it: university soon.

As her mind wandered later on and she found herself glancing around, she spotted Freddy, quietly reading a textbook. He had some friends around him and Amanda watched him share a joke with one of them, a lopsided grin emerging in a slow but meaningful fashion that matched his sparkling eyes.

Freddy was a quiet eighteen year old, with caramel-coloured hair, sun-kissed skin and perfect grades. Realising she had overstayed her staring, Amanda looked back at her work.

Months ago Amanda had worked on a project with Freddy and two others from their Geography class. It was only as she stared blankly at her French essay that she realised that not once had Freddy initiated conversation. It was she who asked him questions, attempted to make jokes and organised the times their group would meet.

Amanda felt a smile creep on the tip of her lips.

Questioning the motives to her lips' movement, she realised that she found him endearing. They had never had a conversation about anything of meaning and yet she felt his shy smile and tendency to stay out of people's way cause a swarm of butterflies in her stomach.

She convinced herself that she did need to get a French dictionary just as - coincidently - Freddy was putting a book back. Amanda went to make a joke about tectonic plates as she stood patiently beside him, waiting to get to the French section when Freddy turned and the two of them collided. He apologised and barely looked in Amanda's direction. She smiled back and promised that it was no problem, although he was already almost back at his seat when she said so.

Amanda frowned and left the library.

That evening when Amanda was on her way to work, she noticed Freddy running. He slowed down and began to stretch before he began to walk. He paused and soaked in the evening. Amanda was sure she saw something that resembled lack of peace in his expression; why though, she could not discern. All at the same time, he seemed somewhat at peace.

Realising she had stopped walking and was almost late for work, Amanda began to walk.

*       *       *

It was another week before Amanda saw Freddy again. He seemed more distant than usual as he angrily, and yet calmly - if that's possible - scribbled an essay.

The library was busy as it always was around exam time and one of the only spaces that was free to sit was right by Freddy. As Amanda watched him, Freddy stopped and appeared self-conscious. "Too many words, too little time," he said and captured Amanda's eyes.

She flushed a little, now knowing he knew she was watching but she felt somewhat chilly at his comment. It felt a little more meaningful than his sparkling eyes were letting on. Freddy smiled and she felt herself smile back.

In the next twenty minutes neither of them spoke and Amanda finished some reading at a slow pace, conscious of Freddy being close to her. She felt those butterflies again and found it hard to read, mostly just staring at the page.

*       *       *

Freddy couldn't concentrate, and he was happy for the distraction. Earlier that day everything went wrong again, just as his mother had promised it wouldn't and he couldn't escape relentless panic and fear until he realised Amanda was beside him.

He swallowed his fear, and said something weirdly cliché, cringed a little, and then ignored the thought. She smiled a smile full of loveliness.

As Amanda read her textbook, Freddy looked up a little, enough to see that her dark auburn hair covered her face. Her eyes were green marbles and she bit her lip seeming a little lost, her cheeks the colour of a discreet pink sunset. Freddy cleared his throat but couldn't find the words to say anything more.

As the sun brightened the panic that was easily felt in the library, Freddy accepted that he would be unable to muster the courage to say anything else to Amanda that afternoon.

*       *       *



"Will you be going to Anna's tonight, mate?" Andy asked, barely looking in Freddy's direction before he winked at Lacy Jones as she walked past.

"Er-"

"Mate, come on. Whenever you're with me, without even knowing it, you're the best wingman."

"Oh yeah?" Freddy raised his eyebrows.

"Get over yourself dude," Andy grinned. A few seconds passed. "So, you're coming, yeah?"

Freddy rolled his eyes with a smile, "Sure."

Later that evening, Freddy stopped before he knocked on Anna's door, composing himself a little. It's just one night; it'll be an all right night; everything will be okay.

Before he was about to knock, Lacy Jones opened the door with an Andy attached to her arm, "FREDDY!"  Freddy was late enough to be surrounded by slightly intoxicated classmates.

He picked up a cider and pretended to listen to Andy talking about Lacy.

In the corner sat Amanda, in a simple black dress, her hair almost sparkling beneath the light of the room. She was laughing with Nancy before her eyes met Freddy's and he felt the atmosphere was enough to give him the confidence to hold her eyes. Nancy said something, got up and Amanda looked down, seemingly embarrassed.

He hadn't meant to embarrass her. Now feeling a little uncomfortable himself, he went to turn around when she looked up and said, "Freddy", her eyes smiling.

*       *       * 

Amanda and Freddy spoke for almost three hours that night; in the corner of the room. Just the two of them. Freddy made his cider last the whole time, and as people were leaving and they regretfully were making chatter to ignore the fact they would have to leave soon, Freddy said, "Did you want a drink?"

"I'm good with my squash, thank you," Amanda grinned at him.

"Got an early start?"

"Just not a drinker," Amanda tried to not seem embarrassed, but Freddy's smile back at her made her know that she shouldn't feel silly, and her embarrassment diminished within moments. "I leave that to my best friend." Freddy followed Amanda's eyes and he laughed at Nancy talking excitedly at Harrison James, who seemed not to understand anything she was saying.



The quiet then fell made Amanda nervous. In a nice way. But she still found herself standing up.

"Can I walk you home?" Freddy asked, his eyes twinkling like stars as she found herself momentarily lost in their charm.

"I will let you have the pleasure."

Freddy chuckled, threw his cider in a bin bag, hesitated and then cleared away some other people's drinks as if it gave him peace of mind. As if mirroring a Hollywood movie, Freddy offered Amanda his right arm with a grin and Amanda felt herself giggle while her heart smiled.

"If you had one more day to live, what would you do?" Amanda felt herself blush at her cliché question, but she wanted to hear the honest or jokey answer that he would be sure to give.

"I know that if you asked me a few years ago, I would have said that I would buy all of the scratch cards in the nearest shops and wait until I found the one where I'd win big."

"But you'd only have one day left... You wouldn't have a chance to spend it."

"And there's no guarantee I'd have won all that much," Freddy chuckled. "Thank goodness I've gained a brain cell or two since then."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Amanda felt herself tease him as he feigned offence and grinned the grin that made her glad she came out after two and a half hours of Nancy nagging her. Amanda stopped, not even trying to hide her disappointment. "This is me."

Freddy nodded, wavering on his feet a little, partially seeming lightly amused, but partially reflecting her disappointment in his small, content, and disappointed smile. After a few seconds, Amanda turned, about to say her goodbye into the warm summer night's air.

"You asked me what I would do if I had one day to live, and if that were true, then there would be only one thing I could do."

Amanda didn't turn but she felt his warmth behind her. "And what's that?" She found some of her best friend's confidence in her.

"I'd attempt to charm you with a line I heard Ryan Gosling say and tell you I'll pick you up at eight tomorrow."

"I'll see you at eight tomorrow."

♥     ♥     ♥

HERE is another part of Freddy's story!

Car Journeys & Sunsets,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

THE FAULT IN OUR STARS!!1!!!!11!

So. I saw The Fault In Our Stars at the cinema, and it's time to let my thoughts spill out.

*Smiles with all of the fangirl in my heart.* It sticks SO closely to the novel. So closely. Not only did I feel it had everything essential in it, but watching it felt like what I pictured when I read John Green's novel was perfectly translated onto the screen in front of me. It was raw and honest, beautifully sweet, funny and sad, exactly to the way in which the novel projected.

The acting and the characters, again, were simply spot on. Hazel didn't show her fear and Augustus was beautifully pretentious; her mother was positive, and her father more outwardly emotional. Isaak was funny, and the support group leader, Patrick was hilariously serious. They all just worked. Hazel and Augustus's personalities bounced off of each other easily; their humours and thoughts acting as two separate reflections from the same mirror. A characteristic of Hazel that was obvious throughout the novel was her selflessness. This was so prominent in the film. She wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings and she put everyone before herself. Hazel was incredibly admirable.

The Fault In Our Stars is a must see. Yes, I would suggest reading the book (one of my favourite books of all time), but I saw it with a friend who hadn't read the book and she loved it a lot! The bursts of emotion and tragedy were poignantly beautiful, while the laughs and the love and the friendships made me grin like a John Green fangirl would.

I began thinking a lot about oblivion again because of seeing the film. It's a key theme throughout the book and film, and Augustus's fear of it is so sad to watch, and endure as his genuine fear is etched across his face. I ultimately learned a lot from Hazel's responses to the fear, and was glad of her reassurance for him.

*This is a spoiler-filled paragraph... This post would have to have one.* Hazel and Augustus's trip to Amsterdam was divine. Their relationship sparkled in the setting, and their experience was sweet and full of my eyes widening in happiness for them. The meeting between the two of them and Peter Van Houten was as raw as it was in the book. When reading the book, as much as I would have wanted the meeting to be as perfect as Hazel dreamed of, I will always be grateful for John Green's honesty. The scene in the film both broke my heart and made me want to punch the sky with glee at Hazel's awesome response.

As the film ended, no one in the cinema moved. The credits rolled and my tears made friends with one another. The Fault In Our Stars is a fresh, bright film that covers a dark topic both beautifully and honestly; it's a beautiful tale that will never leave my heart.

Okay.

Okay.

Clouds & Benches,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Three Wishes

After watching THIS video where the wonderful Carrie Hope Fletcher talks about the three wishes she has had, and that one is completed and another is on its way to being completed, I since began thinking about three wishes of mine. As well as being so very excited that she will be releasing a book, it got me thinking about what my three wishes in terms of physical achievements (I'm excluding things like happiness in this post) I want to achieve. I thought it'd be a fab idea to document three general life aims!

My three wishes

♡  I've spoken about it before on my blog, but one of my if-a-genie-gave-me-three-wishes wishes is to write a book. Side note: When I think about writing a book, it's not at all about the publishing of it. Although that's what my dreams would be made of, the thought of writing a story written in my words makes me feel all warm and excited. It's an ambition of mine, and one I hope to achieve.

♡ I aspire to carry on blogging for ever. I love this little slice of haven that I have to call my own and I can't ever imagine not blogging. Even though it was hard to cut down on blogging this year throughout my exam period and I accept that I will always adjust my schedule when necessary, I want to always have this outlet for my writing. It's one of those things that simply makes my heart sing and I'd never want that to stop.

♡ I want to own a place (whatever and wherever that may be) and create it so that I adore it so much that I'd take pictures of it and put them in photo frames (I won't do that though). My bedroom is my favourite place to be (especially when dreaming about my written book[s] and writing my blog) as it reflects who I am and is where I can be in any mood and I'll be content with it.

What would your three wishes be?

Fish Fingers & Chips,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

A Summer Story

It started in July. Early July.

He glimpsed at her. Momentarily. A moment that lasted a thousand more moments that travelled across the sea, around the world and back into his heart. She smiled. He looked again. Harder this time. With meaning. With the meaning of someone who had just experienced all of the world's wonders at once. She blushed. He felt all of the world's wonders present in his stomach. He'd not felt butterflies before this firefly night.

Soon they would be laughing; quietly under the night's happy stare. They smiled, and laughed, and soaked in the quiet.

They spent long, hazy days enveloped by friendly skies and gentle air. They kissed tenderly and sweetly and with more smiles than they could ever have imagined. They spent unexpected rainy days wrapped in the blanket of each other's company and long nights wandering below the stars and charming each other's parents. They hoped and they wished and they comforted one another. They never fought; they never cried.

Not until the end.

That summer he forgot, and she learnt. She taught him that memories and events can become hazy and then almost disappear. He taught her trust and happiness underneath the picture of someone else's adoration. They both fell; jumped; parachuted.

Without the parachute.

One night she told him her fears. It was a calm night. They barely noticed its company. His eyes were filled with worry, but with reassurance too. She didn't cry; she couldn't cry; she didn't want to cry. But she let him hold her and tell her words that were sprinkled with so much truth that she could cry looking back. He stroked her, and dealt with her worries with love, instantly diminishing their existence.

That was the night she opened her eyes to the love she refused to ignore any longer.

He bought her dinner and she showed his richness in the words she promised she felt. She'd never imagined feeling this way, she said. She didn't blink. He didn't dare blink. Not in that moment. If he blinked, he might forget to soak in every inch of her being. He couldn't forget that; he wouldn't.

It ended in September. Late September.

It was far from painless, but it wasn't ugly. How could a summer like the sunset ever be remembered with pain?

~

Duvets & Blankets,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Mean People

Mean people suck.

I've deliberated over the title of this post for a long time. I'm a big believer in people having off days or moments that don't express their true self and so no one (or a few moments) mean action should define an individual. In this post I'm addressing people I've come across that have been nothing but unpleasant in my (more than a few) experiences with them. It must also be noted that there are very few people I've met that I'd consider are more mean than nice.

I've wanted to write about mean people before but have never known how to word it, but seen as I've just finished college, and have learnt a lot about people, I feel like I should write down what I've ultimately learnt from the actions of mean people.

From what I've learnt, I can hear a parental voice telling me this;

"In life, there are people who can make you feel small, victimised and insignificant. Yes, it's unfair; yes, it should be challenged, and ultimately sorted... But it doesn't mean these people don't exist."

This isn't an attempt at a mothering post... Not at all. Simply put, I have felt subjected to the wrath of mean people, both personally and not personally. Both are unacceptable.

A few of the mean ways people can strike are acting in an intimidating or malicious fashion or casting uncaring words upon others. Of course there are other ways, but these are the ways that, if "Regina George" encompassed the mean people I've personally felt victimised by, I'd accuse "Regina George" of acting:

i) Intimidation: Probably the most vile act I've come across.

ii) Maliciousness: Maybe the definition of mean, maliciousness frustrates me because it, when used by a mean person, is purposeful and cruel.

iii) Callousness: I feel like unnecessary, horrendous digs at people are a by-product of a lack of empathy or a lack of wanting to empathise with humanity in the face of a human.

I feel like I've ultimately learnt that, although mean people exist, they should never cloud over a life; make life full of fear or dread. I don't like that I can become intimidated or in fear of some people because of their actions, but I know I'm not the only one. I know that even these mean people will be approached by others that make them uncomfortable. I deal with the concept of mean people better now: It simply makes me feel better as I could never do or say these things that these mean people have done that I have witnessed.

Other Sunsets & Other Seas,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Oblivion

I've wanted to write about the concept of oblivion since I read The Fault In Our Stars last year. A year later and I've finally decided to put my thoughts into readable (potentially debatable) words on a screen.

A quick conclusion

These words will be forgotten; they will disappear completely one day. It doesn't mean that in between now and then (whether that be today, or in many years), that I can't keep thinking my thoughts and speaking them aloud.

Oblivion

In the Fault In Our Stars (spoiler alert), when Augustus is asked to share his fear, he replies that he fears "oblivion." In Hazel's response she suggests oblivion is inevitable; there will come a time when "all of this will have been for naught"; those big names we know now because they've been imprinted in our history will even be forgotten. Augustus fears not being remembered, not having made his print on the world; an Augustus-shaped footprint long forgotten.

Another conclusion-y thought

Is oblivion something to be feared? I think it's something to embrace. Just because what I do will be forgotten, it doesn't mean that I'm going to stop treating people as kindly as I can; it doesn't mean that I won't apologise when I've slipped up and been less kind.

A rambl-y paragraph

I feel like my blog itself can be highly related to the concept of oblivion; the very opposite of oblivion, perhaps. I often fear that the concept of my anonymous blog; the name, "The Girl in the Moonlight" itself (which I cringe at when I think too much into it- although for this next reason only), is one that appears pretentious. Would people, if they thought about it, think I'm being passive aggressive (not the right word, but a somewhat similar action I envision), I often think. Do people think there is more to my act of carrying on with this blog than there is? I love my blog because it's me. I can quietly express my thoughts... for me. This blog isn't an avoidance of oblivion; I am not hoping to be remembered because of this blog. The very opposite, in fact.

Another conclusion

Reflected in oblivion being an abstract, intangible thing is that it is not a fear or thing in my life. Everything I do doesn't have to be for a long-term meaning - and maybe not even a short-term meaning -; I'm doing it because it matters, because it's happening in that moment, and may be happening afterwards too. Ultimately oblivion shouldn't suggest that everything is meaningless and pointless. This blog isn't meaningless because no one can attach a name or face to it, or because it's not read by so many people that I can't picture that amount; I do it for me. I write blog posts because my blog is meaningful to me. I write my thoughts because they matter. I talk my thoughts because they matter. I don't create friendships with people to be remembered; I do it for me... To live the life I want with the people I want to share it with. I don't live to create a name; to be remembered for ever. I live to matter to myself and to the others I want to matter to, creating and losing (for whatever reasons) friendships and smiles and memories along the way.

Sure, oblivion, in my eyes, is inevitable, but it doesn't make my life, and the things in it and the actions I do, meaningless.

What do you think about oblivion?

Dark Skies & Sparkly Nails,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Me Before You - Jojo Moyes

"Heartbreaking yet ultimately uplifting," Good Housekeeping

"Majestic, utterly compelling, tremendous. A heart-stopping read," Independent on Sunday

"A perspective and moving tale," Independent

Never before has it taken me quite so long to write a book review... I'm talking months.

 

I simply didn't know what to say; what to say that's not been said before. This book is every wonderfully beautiful adjective, every happy bittersweet smile and every excited chatter my mother and I have had about every book at once.

 

This novel oozes charm, warmth and heartbreak; it oozes honesty and thought.

 

Me Before You is about Lou Clark and Will Traynor. It could be said to be about quadriplegia, about disability and sadness. And, well, it is. But it's not. Lou, after being made redundant ends up working for Will, much to his displeasure. There to keep him company, it seems she'd do anything to keep out of his way. The twist, though, is one I would never ruin. It's simply one you must discover through Jojo Moyes's gorgeous story.

 

Lou is a character that you adore reading the words of the author that make up the way of her mind, her words and her outlook. Bubbly and funny, Lou is also caring and very thoughtful. The happy eyes she sees her life through are charming ones- ones that make the emotion of the novel, both more emotional, and more addictive. I've never admired a character like I do Lou, and I loved being alongside Lou and Will's story with her, watching her grow and her brave ways prevail.

 

Will, to me, is not a tragic character, or anything of the sort. Of course, his situation sucked, and his aching for his old life broke my heart, but he is a hero to me. He is charming and funny, and cares for Lou in a lovely way. I learnt a lot through Will; about disability and his feelings towards it. Ultimately, I'm deeply in love with him.

 

I finished this in a public place, tears untamed but modest. I couldn't wipe them away because I was so attached to Will and Lou, and wanted to read beyond the pages beyond the book so much. They deserved my tears and my understanding and I couldn't find it in me to lift my hands to my face, because I just wanted to turn the last few pages, close the book, long for more of Jojo Moyes's words and think.

 

Me Before You is wonderstruckingly lovely.

 

Stripy Tights & Movies With Subtitles,

 

The Girl in the Moonlight.

A Summer Sky

My summer is here and I couldn't be more deliriously excited about it!

Summer is my best friend at the moment; I am so grateful for its company, day and night.

Whether the sky is happy or sad, this is one very happy person. You know when celebrities talk about the importance of being grounded? *Flicks hair dramatically.* I feel like summer is keeping me grounded! College could be draining this year; its importance was obvious and although I recognised it wasn't the most important thing in the world, it was easy to get sucked up into this little bubble of stress/panic/fear. This was reflected in my blog. As well as having very little time at all to sit down and write, my mindset was in another world; not in blog-mode. I hope to very rarely get to that point with my blog again but it was necessary and I'm just glad my blog's content didn't suffer too much.

The sun's out though!

Back to the grounding thing. I've been spending time with all of the people I love to be around, doing things I love to do and detoxing my mind. I don't have a million and one things on my mind; I'm enjoying busying myself with awesome people; I'm relaxed. I have so much more time to read and that's very exciting. I can go shopping, drown myself happily in new music and old music and spend hours down the beach.

I learnt last year to not get unhealthily stressed about education and although this year was stressful, I have definitely improved and I hope, to once again, learn that the skies are bright even if its hiding for a while!

Whipped Clouds & Happy Sky,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

When She Reads

♥

When she reads her heart is vulnerable in her eyes, and her smile is one I never see anywhere else; full of honest thoughts and emotion. That smile does not betray her thoughts; she doesn't pretend and she doesn't protect her heart in that small smile that is bigger than the image portrays at a careless glance. She opens her heart up to the characters she loves, to the characters she does and doesn't understand, and to the characters she protests.

She scans the pages, her eyes dotting around the page. I could almost hear part of her mind telling her eyes to calm down, to breathe in the serenity of a story that's not her own.

The room is quiet, except for the intermittent flicking of the pages. But there is so much noise. I can see it through her changing expressions that stay like statues for a second. Her mind is breathing in the characters and their thoughts and opinions, their experiences and love and disdain. She adores them. She despises them. Either way, they're helping her. Most of the time.

When she reads, I feel helpless to her vacant gaze that's full of everything good, and everything bad. Her breath is coherent. Her breath is little. Her focus is strong. Her focus is weak.

She strokes the cover a little. Enough to comfort her sad eyes. Something's happening and I'm helpless to reassure her. So I watch. I watch her mouth delicately will to whisper into the air. She never does. Her cheeks stay the same; pale but entranced. When she reads her image is one of wonder. It's like she's not a person, but a body of some sort that only wants good for these characters that she will never fully understand.

Then she smiles. I can tell she's sad, but she's learnt something. She's found comfort in a sad ending.

But then it hits her all over again.

She closes the book, completed. The end. She looks at me, a single tear captivating her expression for what feels like a lifetime, but is only, in reality, a moment. She looks down. I whisper, "It wasn't the ending you wanted."

She doesn't look up, but I see her nod. "It never is."

♥ 

 

Tulips & Chrysanthemums,

 

The Girl in the Moonlight.

The Ending of an Era

College is over.

My current feelings

A concoction of "ahhhhh", "yaaay" and "ooooooo."

The process of an era

I feel like there are different stages to a thing (a thing like school/college/a relationship of some sort etc). There are different feelings that may seem real, but may be more than they seem in hindsight or whilst looking forward or in the moment:

Before: The new-ness

Anticipation. Excitement. Nerves.

During: The normal-ness

Routine. Boredom. Never-ending.

After: The weird-ness

Excitement. Regret. Memories.

It's over

The last two years have been two consisting of the *attempted* intake of a lot of new information, new and old friends, new experiences and a fair bit of stress.

The last two years have been hard. I like working hard, but it's been seriously hard. I don't regret the stress, but I do wish I could have been less stressed. Now it's over and I'm more than glad for these weeks stretched out in front of me. I'm glad to not be feeling guilty when I'm not revising and to not having to revise.

Yet there is something in me that is pulling at my stomach if I think too much about the fact that I've left college. I think it's partially the thought that maybe my childhood is defining what I do less and less, and more responsibility for myself is evident. I think it's also that the toughness of college, at points, overshadowed that I was meeting people and continuing friendships and having a good time. I hope I enjoyed the experience as much as I could. I know I had so much fun, but there was a few "but"s along the way.

However I am so excited for these weeks of sunshine (whether that be physically or merely in the mind) and my future when summer draws to a close. Ultimately I can't help repeatedly waking up and singing "summer, summer, summer" as if I were Troy Bolton. Despite my thoughts: It's summer and I couldn't be happier right now!

Live for today! It's the ending of an era, but the start of a new one too!

Books & Films,

The Girl in the Moonlight.