I yell with my heart how he broke me inside. I shout to the sky that I'll never forgive him his temper, his silence, his way of making a good moment bad. I'll never forgive him that every bad moment was shadowed completely by the good: his hand brushing against mine like a pebble skimming the sea; my eyes searching for his across a room, lost for a moment, until, finally, there are his deep blue pools, causing any evil in the world to be diminished to nothing; him whispering three words in my ear; the words that made my heart warm at night when in need of comfort and I couldn't bare to wake his sweet expression as he dreamt of our future.
I stroke the ripples of satin that flood over my legs; absently letting my fingers raise to the pendant protecting my heart. I allowed myself a few moments. I stroked the silver, picturing the dents engraved into it without needing to look; I knew the necklace like he knew my heart. Until the the safety, the happiness was taken away.
He left me.
I want to scream. I want to ignore the single tone that rings through my whole body every day. I want to cry. I want to give into the pain that smashes against my heart like waves crashing excitedly against the undeserving sand. I don't. If he sees my pain, I'll never forgive myself. I can never allow him to see my pain.
One day he told me that the stars are the protection of heartbreak and sadness. The next day he was gone and all I was forced to embrace the eclipse he left; the dark sky blanketing any happiness that once existed. The moon no comfort to my night; just a reminder of the loneliness that clouds my every movement like the fog in the sky.
Now he is gone and I'm searching for solitude and a way to tell him my loud thoughts. I always end up by his side, underneath the stars, allowing my fingers to trace over the dents that make up his name on a slab sliced into the ground; like a slice through my heart.
He's all of the stars now. He has to be. For me.
So, here's a bit of creative writing on my blog today. I hope you don't mind! The reason for it can be seen HERE as it's part of my 5 day blogging challenge. I'm excited to do a bit more creative writing after this!
Eclipses & Stars,
The Girl in the Moonlight.
My blogging challenge: