Tuesday, 19 November 2013

That Body Confidence Thing

I've wanted to write a post about body confidence and being confident with how you look for a long time. I am by no means a professional on this subject but as I'm learning to find ways to be comfortable with myself, I want to share them with you!

I'm going to dive straight into the part that I find the most difficult. To find a way to make myself more comfortable with how I look, I once decided I should attempt to compliment myself. What I do is this. I look in the mirror. I look past any negative thoughts about how I look that may first come into my mind. Then I get rid of them. We don't need those... ever. I find something that makes me at least think "you know what, I have decent *insert here*." As I'm writing this, I am looking in the mirror - you've got to practise what you preach, right?

I like my eyebrows.

There you go. I like my eyebrows. *Breathes.* I did it. It may have been a bit nerve-wracking but I did it. Even if you can't find something to compliment yourself on today, try tomorrow and the day after that. Try until you find something and don't give up. I know some people may read this and think: "nah, impossible; I can't do that." Please, find a way! You deserve to be happy with yourself! However, I understand this could be absolute torture for many (it is partially for me still) so if you can't, don't do it! I realise I've contradicted myself but I want to spread positivity, not negativity!

Being specifically body confident is perhaps a little different. Although I find both difficult, I struggle a bit more with complimenting my body. However, I want to get to a stage (and I'm certainly getting there) where I stop getting so caught up in the negative feelings I have about myself. The first thing I have learned, and for me is the most important thing is this: you may feel a certain thing about how you look, but people who see you, just passer-bys and people who impact your life a little or a bit more and also those who care about you most probably don't see these things that make up why you're not happy with yourself.

I found that someone took something I hate about myself - without them knowing - and turned it into something really lovely! They made something bright with their different perspective. That's what needs to be realised. You may see something about yourself and think one thing, but someone else will see a better version of it. Despite him outlining something I dislike (without meaning to), he produced the best compliment I've ever had.

There's that idea where you learn to live your life to its fullest, enjoying the things you love to do the most all too late. I feel like that could, with some people, apply to how you feel about how you look. My mum says that one day she suddenly thought "why do I worry?". It wasn't that she stopped brushing her teeth but she felt that she should feel confident in herself and so she did. She feels she learnt it too late but the sooner she learnt it, the sooner she could smile more. The same happened with me. I've learnt it a lot earlier than my mum but still too late, but now I can smile more too. I still have things about myself I'd rather change and days where I look I try to find something to compliment myself about and I can't but once I try again, mind refreshed, I realise I'm okay. Think about living life to your version of "the fullest" through finding a way to be comfortable with how you look. I've kept reminding myself this and now, I know, I can be comfortable with who I am and be positive; it is possible.

A big thing I have realised is that I shouldn't compare myself to others. I know it's "easier said than done" and all that but it might just be the key to happiness. He might have something better in your eyes but you have something that he would look at you and think the same. She might have something "desired" but so do you.

Finally, I have to address that sad truth: sometimes people say things about how you look and you feel an ugly, sad feeling inside. It is so easy to take what someone says about your body and how you look and make it the centre of your world. I've done this way too many times. What's annoying is I know the people who have said something about how I look wouldn't have ever wanted to make me feel the way they did. The answer to this is to make sure you never do it (more on that HERE) but also, please, please, please do not let it get to you. I know a friend of mine would be gutted to know how upset something he said made me because I know they said it because they "thought it wouldn't get to" me. Just don't risk it. All the same, I had to move on from this comment. My point is this: I am (although they shouldn't have said it) over all of the comments that once made me conscious (to the point of crying a bit). Now, if someone made a personal comment about me, I know I can take less time to get over it, so consider this, and don't get as upset as it appears first nature to.

I hope you feel comfortable with yourself and happy in who you are. You really deserve to be.

This all got a bit deep but I feel very passionately about young people being okay with themselves because I know how I've felt in the past, so I don't think anyone in the world should ever feel that way! I would love for you to write something about yourself that you like in the comments! I know it's not always easy but I can see a million things about you that are fabulous, so you can write one or two below!

So this post is due to my 5 day blogging challenge which you can read about HERE!

Happy & Comfortable,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

My blogging challenge:
Day 1


  1. I love your blog! x
    It would mean so much if you checked out my blog http://mollysbeautyblogger.blogspot.co.uk/

  2. This is so inspiring!


  3. Fab post and this is coming from somebody who has MANY body hangups and crippling self esteem. I struggle with everything that you've mentioned, alongside depression which just makes it all worse.

    However, I'm doing a Counselling course (potentially hoping to become one) and I agree that everything you've written makes perfect sense ;)

    1. Thank you! I wish I could wave a wand a make your struggles better. I hope you find a way to make yourself love/be okay with yourself like you really deserve to.

      This is awesome to hear and I am sending buckets of hope to you about your aim to become one - that's the coolest.

      Thanks so much! Posts like this make me nervous because I don't want to seem patronising (as I struggle with image too - I understand!) and as if it's always as easy as just deciding to feel better about yourself.

  4. good chunk of advice u got there.i agree with you.totally.


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