Sometimes I have so many thoughts, wishes and worries moving round in my head, gliding slowly yet too quickly, thinking the same things over and over again, that it feels like those elegantly poised horses, moving quickly but somewhat dogmatically with the moon bouncing off of their suits while the carousel sings the song of the night.
Right now I am sat on my bed, surrounded by pillows, under the glow of my fairly lights and listening to McFly. It's a colder night than usual. There's something comforting about it, isn't there? It's cold outside but I'm inside, warmer with the walls of my house protecting me. It makes me feel the "my-stomach's-so-squishy-and-excited-inside" feeling. It's a Friday night and I'm writing a bunch of blogposts - aren't those evenings the best? - and with a few presents ready to be wrapped around me, I'm excited to buy Christmas wrapping paper and ribbon and cards.
On the scale of organisedness (should totally be a word), I'm nowhere near the shiny "organised" end and not quite at the doom and gloom "disorganised" end. I'd say I'm a happy medium but sometimes tipping towards "too disorganised". Yet, when I'm disorganised, I panic. (We're the worst type of people, I know). College work is at a new high and I'm feeling quite stressed and disorganised when I'm not sure that I am. However, I also am. I'm slightly confused and feeling "ahhhhhhh", if that can be an adjective. I'm feeling this feeling about my blog, A-Levels and university. As a bi-product from feeling a bit panicky, my blog can become a disorganised mess. Right now, my blog is so very organised, in terms of what I'm posting and when, that I'd like to shout it from the rooftops. I won't though. This is so, as soon it will not be organised because for as long as I'm organised, the sooner the disorganised blog of doom exists. Although, through the fear that my blog will never regain organisedness (I'm sticking to it), it's quite an exciting time. I'm just worried that as I see piles of work metaphorically and physically forming around me, that I'll be forced to spend less time on my blog and therefore, delve into a whirlpool of disorganisedness. I watch other bloggers deal so well with busyness and so I'm taking my inspiration from them. It's going to be okay.
A-Levels, at the moment, are my biggest worry and, in turn, I fear I will let panic take over and thereby not get to where I'd like for university. However, I am more than willing to do what it takes and more to get to where I wish. With my friends motivated like I am, the excitement for our futures should power us all through.
I hope delving into my mind isn't too boring (or scary) but, as you saw in my paragraph about my blog, I came to a conclusion after my mind debated with itself. As long as I work hard for my A-Levels (with relaxing time where I sit and bond with my blog), getting to university shouldn't be feared.
I've also been thinking about my 2013 year. It's been a good'n and I've got lots more to look forward to next year. My blog, A-Levels and university are going to be a big part of 2014 and I can't wait. What are you looking forward to?
This is the sixth day of Blogmas that you can read about HERE.
At the end of the day, as I sit, surrounded in sublime tranquillity, I can't help think that, although I'd like the thoughts to slow down every now and then, the worries and excitement, I hope, will never stop. As they go round and round, my heart smiles.
Fairgrounds & Twinkly Lights,
The Girl in the Moonlight.