I woke up this morning, excited to know that today is the day to start a new book. How exciting is that?! I get to read a new story with new characters and new thoughts... I just can't wait! It made me start thinking about reading books for the first time. Sometimes we assume a book is going to leave an awesome impact on us; sometimes we know half way through; sometimes, we shut the book and thing, "Well, wow." We feel awesome and honoured and happy to have experienced this book. But we can feel sad. It's finished. I wish it wasn't. Not because it wasn't perfectly finished- it was perfectly finished. We may read it again, but... We'll never read it again for the first time.
I've had this "after finishing a book" feeling so many times. For example, I closed The Fault In Our Stars by John Green and just thought, and I'll never get to read that for the first time again. It's happened before that point and it's happened since. All of my favourite books leave this feeling travelling around my body. I adore the feeling but it does instil a whole load of nostalgia. It's not even like I don't enjoy the nostalgia. I, in fact, think I do. I think back to before I read the first page of that book and how lucky I was "back then." I was about to experience something awesome.
And yes, I will always get this with these kinds of books. Yet, it's also a feeling we get throughout life. When I come off of holiday I think, "Wow, I was so lucky at the start of that holiday to have all of that ahead of me"; I have it when I've had an ace day; I have it when a period of my life is over. We want to do things over again. We want to go back. I guess it's why we do re-do certain things- because they were so great. We learn how precious things are and we treasure them.
Not all the time, though.
We need to close the book - whether that be literally or metaphorically - and note how awesome it was. Then we need to make sure we act upon it next time. Treat the next potentially awesome book with absolute care. If you're too tired to focus properly, put the book down! Don't let yourself feel rubbish while reading that wonderful book. Savour every word. Enjoy every character that makes this novel what it is. Face your life knowing that this day could be one you'll miss for ever. You can miss it but don't regret not being able to go back.
So, I have Extraordinary Means by Robyn Schneider in front of me. It's perfectly new and singing for me to read it: And even if it turns out not to be as awesome as I really think it's going to be, I'm going to face it with this excited feeling. I'm going to savour every page. Because it may just well be a book I "wish I could read for the first time again." And I will treasure it for this reason; I won't regret it.
Old & New Stories,
The Girl in the Moonlight.
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