A corny, inspirational post is needed, I think. No? Well you're getting one.
Grease is a classic, right? It's the ultimate musical. However, one thing that gets on my nerves is that Danny liked the nice Sandy: the Sandy who wore pastel colours; the Sandy who blushed; the Sandy who was a little bit scared. Why did she have to change to fit in with "cool" to get Danny? Ok, so when Sandy's strutting her leather-covered-stuff, all of us are staring, wishing that we could do that, but a part of us is sad: we liked nice Sandy, didn't we? So, why, when someone decides to patronise a feature of our personality, belittling something quirky about us, do we let it get to us, a like to sweet Sandy?
I think a sad reality of this world is that sometimes people make others feel small without meaning to. Now, I'm not saying that it's worse than doing it intentionally (although it might be for some), but it is still hurtful because the person judging you for not going to that party because you want to spend a night with your family won't realise that they're making you question yourself. Is that "lame"? Really? Someone that's your friend twists the knife a little. I'd like to think that I don't do this to people and I really hope that this is true, because I know that when someone raises their eyebrow at something to do with my life or they make a snide comment, I feel myself unable to speak, a little thrown aback. How do I respond to that? Why did they say that in front of everybody? Why should I feel bad about myself because of that? Instead I smile politely and let it get right underneath my skin! Instead, I should, yes, smile politely, take pride in that I'd never do that to someone and well... forget about it!
When it comes to who you are, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. You're your own person and that's why you're different to that person frowning upon your individual ways and judgements. More importantly, you don't have to change for anyone. Equally, you don't have to prove yourself. I always feel really really tiny when someone tells me something about a characteristic of mine, something that may be true or something that's not and I feel like I need to shout from the rooftops that I'm not the person that they think I am. I don't, and that's because I am who I am and what that person is pointing out wouldn't be a flaw anyway. At the end of the day, I need to think that they're not meaning for it to come across as a flaw, it just is. That's their problem, not mine.
Don't apologise for who you are. If your friend thinks that you should justify yourself for not having the same outlook on life that they have, then know with ease that they haven't figured their own individual characteristics out yet. Bite your tongue, hold your head high and all that jazz! Although I don't doubt that you were fantastic as new, leather-covered-Sandy, pastel Sandy, you were awesome.
Well, as Nick Carraway says: "They're a rotten crowd. You're worth the whole damn bunch put together."
Handmade Lemonade & Sunshine,
The Girl in the Moonlight.