Today I revisited a memory created by eleven year old me. It's a memory that makes me cringe and one that caused me to feel incredibly bad as soon as I was, well, a horrible eleven year old child one lunch time at school. Feeling bad doesn't make up for it but I definitely have tried to make it up to the person I was rubbish to, even if he would probably just laugh if I told him the memory- something we briefly spoke about a few years ago but not in depth.
So it was lunch time and about the time England decides to get warm just to fool us. I was with a friend when a boy came up to me and said "Teddy (let's call him Teddy) says will you go out with him?"
Let's now flashback to a few weeks before where I watched a popular but evidently harsh girl be asked out on behalf of someone else. She then said, "Tell him he should ask me himself." So the friend obviously told the boy and soon after we had the popular girl being confronted (nervously) by the boy with the question. He poured his heart out into said question and she brutally but simply said, "No."
And now back to picturing me faced by a good friend asking a question for a lovely, lovely guy. What did I say? Yes, you know it. Something along the lines of, "Tell him he should ask himself." I remember repeating, "I don't believe you" to the friend while he protested it was true, but hey, it doesn't make what I said any less gruelling.
Off Teddy's mate trotted and soon after, we have Teddy and I looking at each other awkwardly as the question lingered. I remember my heart plummeting at the realisation of how horrible I'd been. I frowned and quietly said, "No."
Thankfully, "Teddy" is still my friend- I'll be seeing the guy next week! So luckily me being cruel didn't ruin that but I still feel terrible. Of course the overall message is to treat everyone with kindness- especially when they're taking a jump they are probably a bit nervous about! I feel so guilty about what I did but I'm delighted to say that he's in a lovely relationship and I'm delighted to see his smile so often!
A Friend & A Smile,
The Girl in the Moonlight.