The Understudy - David Nicholls

I got very excited to see The Understudy by David Nicholls in HMV while I was shopping not too long ago, and easily picked it up to buy. So here we are.





















The Understudy follows the life of Stephen and his dream of becoming a well-known actor- although it is very clear his completely sincere dream is to be well-known for his talent, not for the want of fame. Only, his talent which as an audience, we only believe to be genuine, is not noticed enough by the world he wishes it would just be noticed by. As the understudy to Josh Harper - a well-loved actor - who is never the type of ill that could mean Stephen has his chance to shine. Stephen's character is a quite amusing, but also sad representation of "unlucky."

I don't like to place books with others; describing their characteristics with another story, however today I will, for I cannot pinpoint exactly why, if a friend enjoyed The Understudy, they would also enjoy... The Rosie Project series. I adore both books, and although the main characters, Stephen and Don (The Rosie Project) are not all that similar, I got the same happy, amused feeling reading The Understudy that I do when I think about The Rosie Project.

In the hope to one day become an actor, Stephen takes on numerous roles that aren't exactly his dream, but what he considers to be stepping stones. He has found he has a particular talent for playing, well, dead people. We ache for him to have the chance to step out of his dressing room and not have to be the understudy - just for one night! -, and we feel his frustration alongside him.

The Understudy is highly amusing with Stephen's bitter thoughts, but honest life. We adore his relationship with Nora - Josh Harper's wife - and we want for nothing but him to make his ex-wife and daughter proud. The Understudy does portray a big, lovely message about finding something we love and trying our hardest at it. I like that.

An Award & An Advert,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

A Little Slice of Un-Anonymous #4

In the hope to make my blog a little more personal, today, in my "A Little Slice of Un-Anonymous" post, I want to talk about a perception of me that a few of my close friends have, and although they treat it as a bad thing, it only ever is said because they care- I am 100% aware of that. But I want to share my side of the story.

Sometimes life throws us a curveball- some good, some bad. But those bad ones... They can leave me feeling anywhere on the scale of "oh, how bizarre" (mildly off-putting) to "this feeling is horrific" (super sucky curveball). To the world, that curveball is a teeny, tiny, little fish in a massive sea of other Curveball Fish and Average Fish. But that doesn't mean it's not a Big Horrible Curveball Fish to me. As John Green perfect sums up, "It's gonna hurt because it matters." All the same, with the curveballs that have been thrown in my life (a life that I think has been very lucky and sheltered from really awful curveballs), I have a way of coping. I can feel that "horrific" feeling, but as of yet, my strategy has been good! (I will always seek others - talking to my friends - if anything changes!)

Supposedly, I deal with sucky issues a little bizarrely. Only, it's just slightly different to how Friend A deals with it, which is also different to how Friend B would deal with it. We all react differently! (Some ways do suck, of course!)

So, I'm considering the situations that "suck really badly." And here is what I hear when they come about and a friend or a few friends will know.

"Why didn't you tell me?"
"You've got to start talking."
"Tell me everything. Cry. Just cry."

When these sucky issues come about, normally, I, personally, don't feel the need to tell anyone- although I recently - when one occurred - notified a few people because that is just how I dealt with it that specific time. It's not because I am an amazing person who suffers in silence, because I don't! The sucky issues I am thinking about are always known by my family. The issue will be spoken about openly with them and I don't feel the need to talk about it to other people. I completely agree that talking is awesome and talking should be done when dealing with something is not going well - and of course if it is going well -, but, sometimes I just want to shout, "I KNOW YOU CARE, BUT I REALLY AM FINE. I REALLY AM DEALING WITH IT. THIS SMILE IS REAL."

I completely respect and love the care of my friends. I value everything they say to me regarding the issue and I hope I am always an option as "a friend one can talk to" when my friends have sucky issues, if they so wish- I will be the first to offer! I want to be that friend that I know they already are- even if I don't speak up!

Granted, I do aim to be more open. It's a slightly different issue, but if I'm upset in general, I am unlikely to consult a friend. And I do think this is silly, and I have improved massively. I do believe talking and having feelings known is super important, but sometimes I just have it sorted. I really am dealing with it.

My friends are amazing, and although there are definitely ways that of dealing with sucky situations that also suck, there are lots of different ways of coping which vary from person to person.

All the same, I will always look out for my wonderful, caring friends like they do for me. They really are awesome.

There's a lot on this particular issue that I haven't covered; it's not a particularly rounded up post, but they are just a few thoughts that come to my mind.

So, that's me!

A Book & Some Strawberries,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

♡ #1 ♡ #2 ♡ #3

Just One More Moment

Eddie grimaced at the sunset. but his expression did not match the stars in his stomach. His heart was not good, and if he wasn't home soon, his daughter, Cassandra would worry. So he would go home soon. Just one more moment.

But how long is a moment, really?

For "just one moment" Eddie could picture his wife's smile on their wedding day, and all of a sudden, just one moment would turn into hours of Eddie in happy despair. For "just one moment" Eddie could replay the image of his wife kissing Cassandra's forehead for the first ever time over and over again, and hey, just one moment was suddenly half an hour of sobbing. For "just one moment" Eddie could absorb a night's sunset, and just like that, Eddie knew his heart would be staying there for just that bit longer.

Nature can be ugly, it's true, but Eddie wouldn't ever fault a sunset- his wife's favourite colour.

"It can be a deep orange, or a song composed of pinks and reds and greens and blues, but whatever it is, that's my favourite colour," Eddie would never forget those words. He adored them. He admired them. He felt every beautifully sincere feeling he felt for his wife in them. If a friend asked his wife's favourite colour, Eddie could say the words she would utter alongside her as she responded. But he never did. he couldn't ruin the sound of her happy, enchanted voice; it sounded as though she had memorised it every time. And although the words were always the same, he knew she hadn't. Every time he heard something new.

He heard heartbreak in his wife's words. Heartbreak caused from her father dying too young; her brother dying too young. He heard experience; success. She became the teacher he always knew she would become. He heard love. He heard the feelings she never forgot to express to him. He heard happiness. Eddie and Nora; always happy. Always in love. And it wasn't a lie.

And every time that sunset did its thing, Eddie saw his wife. His beautifully colourful, magical, glorious wife. And every time, he took a picture with his eyes to save for a rainy day.

He blew a kiss to the sky as he made his way home.

~

Pinks & Reds,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

The Bench

At the bench,
We don't like to fret,
We don't like to cry,
We don't swear,
We don't lie,
If the sun shines, it shines,
If the rain rains, it rains,
But no matter the weather,
At the bench, we are together.

~

In my life, I feel like I sometimes have certain places for certain events or people. For example, I heavily associate my bedroom with my writing; my reading. I think of the cinema as mine and my brother's place (although it isn't exclusively). I picture a certain walking route as mine and my close friend's place to wander. I see my living room as the place my family and I spend most time together. I know I associate these places with people or things so strongly because they represent values that matter to me. My creativity with writing adores my bedroom; the cinema represent mine and my brother's excitement. That walking route reminds me of all of the excited catching up a friend and I have done. My living room shows my heart all of my funny, silly, happy family memories.

But the bench? That belongs (in our hearts) to my favourite friendship.

I would say we have other places that are more "our places to go", but I just want to write about our bench because it is always a bench we go to and sit on with complete sincerity. We always sit there ready to giggle and just be us. Be our friendship. I think some friendships just have an essence about them; with this friendship, "our friendship" is smiles and memories and laughing and jokes and honesty and sweetness. Our bench has heard all of the listed attributes- plus more! I remember one time I was giggling so much I just looked silly to passerbys- but very, very happy.

The bench represents everything honest in our friendship.

This is just a little post that is insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but so very significant to me. To my life. To my favourite friendship.

A Bench & A Friendship,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

My Summer Bucket List | 2015

I am officially in my summer! I am so happy about this! To celebrate, here is my 2015 summer bucket list!

♡ As I'm writing this post to be posted on my blog, why not start with an aim for the ol' blog!? I would like to write a lifestyle post! I consider a few posts I have written in the past as "lifestyle posts", and I still do! But I really wish that I, this summer, will write a lifestyle post that is a bit more explicitly "lifestyle"-y. I want to record a day or a few days in a post. I don't know what this would involve yet, but I am excited to see!

♡ Last year, my summer was so full, I left my blog slip an upsetting amount. This year, I plan to make my blog as full and happy as my summer. I have always wanted to post four posts a week when it is summer (but never have!), and I won't promise this yet, but I hope I can do this sometime soon. But, first of all, my aim is to make sure I post three posts a week, although I have not decided an official schedule (I will have a week for sure -maybe another week too - where I may not post at all, but other than that... fingers crossed!)!

♡ One of my aims, in general, is to try new things or choose choices I wouldn't normally when it comes to food! (I am a sucker for lasagna so I am going to try and be a bit more adventurous!)

♡  I want to continue writing my book. I have been aiming to write a book for a long time- this summer is going to boost my story even further. I want to dedicate a lot more of my time to my book- I hope to stick to a schedule concerning it too. I cannot wait.

♡ This summer will mark the start of my "saving money adventure." Simple sounding, but I am excited for this one, because I have never been too good a it. Discipline, here I come!

♡ Last summer also meant that I read much less than I wished too. Since last summer I have read oh-so-many glorious books! And this summer? I will read more! I hope to read ten books at a minimum this summer and it is making me grin thinking about it!

♡ An aim I always have: to take lots of photographs!

♡ Another aim I always have: to progress further with my running!

♡ My final aim right now, is to spend this summer (and afterwards, of course!) treating my family! This could be little, considerate, no-money things, or it could involve money. I am not sure. But I know I want to make my appreciation be shown.

Aims & Excitement,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

P.S. I have posted twice today in the hope I will catch up with the amount of posts I would have liked to have written by now for my June blog!

Adoring Our Achievements

There is this balance in life that I seek. A balance between getting this (right now unknown) career I want to succeed in (one of the major steps with that right now is university, in my case), while I am living my life with certain qualities in mind that I hope to achieve (for example being kind and sincere etc). Meanwhile I want to maintain the balance of having all of those I love in my life. I do think being kind and loving family and friends are the most important values for me- but this post is about all achievements. I want to encapsulate a few things I am proud of myself for in this post. Sometimes it's easy to forget all I am achieving; to sit back and think, hey, that's all right, isn't it!? In fact: that's really great! There's this balance society cries for: "Be modest and not arrogant; but be proud and confident- don't be shy!" (I will talk about this and similar issues in a post in the future). It's so frustrating because... what is the answer!? We should all be proud, shouldn't we? And humble too! We can do both! So here I am, adoring my achievements. As so we should!

The idea for this post came from me scrolling through my archive on my blog. I have written, altogether (before this one) 391 posts. That's so many! That's so much hard work and love and happiness in one little blog that is my own. I am so proud of myself! Looking at words I wrote over two years ago, and thoughts I have expressed since was awesome. I really have worked hard with this blog. I love remembering how some of the posts were formed- what thoughts triggered them, or the setting I was in when I wrote them. I bloomin' adore The Girl in the Moonlight, and the happiness it brings me. I am so proud of that.

At the moment, I am achieving so much with one of my favourite hobbies- running. I have been talking about it a lot recently, but I try so hard with it; I work at is so much. And I have been achieving. While I am working hard; while I recover after a run; while I prepare myself for my runs after that... I am so proud! It can be hard work; it can be a complete joy. It's something I adore; I am proud of all of the goals I am achieving with it.

I am so proud to have completed my first year at university. It was tough for me. I faced new challenges. But here I am! I completed it! I am sat in my living room, writing my little blog- an episode of Once Upon a Time lined up for afterwards and a trip out with my friend planned for after that. I am so proud of myself for this last year.

Let's adore our achievements that bit more!

Pride & Modesty,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Calm

Calm. A sea breeze- only slight. The feeling of sand running through my fingers. A quiet that is not worried about being disturbed, but is happy in its solace. Calm. My best friend my my side; the sun in the sky; a day without noise.

Last week my best friend and I took a trip to the beach. We just lay there. Causing commotion only when we reapplied sun lotion or had some food or some drink. We spoke, too, but we mostly enjoyed that beachy soundtrack. It wasn't a busy day, so maybe that accounts for the lack of noise; on that particular day, I just had to appreciate the calm.

Calm. A book and a duvet. The "home" 9pm song I can hear outside... Nothing! With a little smile on my face, I continue to read. Continue to let my eyes dance in the pretty tranquility.

University is hectic. Even when I have spent evenings (there have been many) in my room watching Netflix, or snuggled up with a book, something is heard. I didn't like this aspect. Quiet just wasn't wanted by everyone at every point in time. I think, while I am home - while I adventure - I will seek a lot of quiet. A lot of calm.

I am someone who adores being busy- I really love it. Last summer I felt like my life was the very opposite of calm. And I want a lot of this to carry through to this summer. But I am going to seek a lot more calm; a lot more quiet. I may have someone with me; I may not. Either way, I will adore this sweet feeling of experiencing calm.

Calm is a simple bliss.

Sea Air & Sand,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

A Letter to June

Dear June,

You may think this letter has found you a bit late; a bit too middle-in-the-month-y. But a reason, there is! Firstly, though, let's reminisce over the last time we knew of each other well. You started off, almost immediately, with a promise I had never felt before. I thank you for that. For being that promise's song. June, it was a false start. My heart was a little broken. Although it did not know it yet. But it feared it. I jumped and at first and my heart was caught with happiness. And then it fell. But it picked itself up, I assure you. June, you're a friend I adore, and this time around, it'll be a good'n. Completely and whole-heartedly.

So, June, it is officially my summer. As of today! I thought I would write to you when the sun is shining so very brightly for me- even though it hasn't so much today. My blog is no stranger to my confession of adoration of warmth and sunshine. Maybe you'll be the reason for this love to be encouraged. Maybe not. But June, you are bright all the same.

June, you're a month that smiles and laughs easily. I like that. Your sky could be the most summery blue or a grey with a frown; but you make us feel warm all the same.

I am excited for the rest of June. For a BBQ or two; for writing; for seeing my friends since they have got back from university. I am so excited for the memories that are going to be made with you, June. Thinking of the things I have planned as I sit on my bed, writing to you, is an excitement I adore.

I've been waiting for this. For you.

Ice-Cream & Strawberries,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

A Little Running Diary #1

One of my biggest loves is running. I have loved it all of my life, and as I have got older my involvement in this hobby has only increased. In the last six months, I have gone from loving to complete adoration and never wanting to let it go unless it is a necessity. This totally isn't a "HEY GUYS I AM SUPER FIT BECAUSE I RUN"; I just really love it. As I want my blog to represent me as much as I feel necessary, I have decided to incorporate my running a little more into my blog. At the moment I am not sure how this is going to work out. I am not going to say how many times I will post or on the topics I will post about; this series just exists on my blog how I wish to present it.

Today I want to talk about my experience with running... And so I shall.

I remember first "competing" in a school cross country with the knowledge that I was some kind of good at it. That would have been in junior school; before that, of course, running to a certain standard was even less frequent, but I remember enjoying chasing and running about in the playground (in a totally PG kind of way). And so I ran the race, and I did well- I am a little proud of my younger self because I was definitely not good with nerves then. For the years of junior school, I loved running; I liked it being my "thing." However my nerves were some kind of an issue.

And they continued to be. At secondary school, my running began with being part of the athletics team. I ran for my year group in competitions outside of school (although not too many) and as much as I loved being part of the team, my nerves made me so anxious. That part sucked. I also, throughout school, had races in PE and Sports' Day to look forward to (dread with excited fear). It was so frustrating because I loved running so much, but I was quite scared of the competitiveness.

I ran a little bit out of school beforehand but taking running into my own hands began at the start of sixth form. In my first year, I ran one or two miles every now and then, and then I pushed myself a lot more in my second year. Now, completely in love with running, I am trying to reach new goals all of the time; and I love the challenge. I am working hard because I want to, and I am doing so to conquer my nerves and hope to reach goals that would have previously involved nerves.

This is, I see, a little narrative of part of my life that may not be all that interesting, but I couldn't think of how else to start this series. I am excited for it!

A Hobby & A Smile,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

Some Thoughts on Fairy Tales

I am adoring Once Upon a Time; a beautiful and also haunting series that is based on all of those fairy tales we adore, whilst they are injected into real life. It's gorgeously melodic and my heart is completely invested. *Stops fangirling.* A boy in the series is completely captivated by a book of fairy tales and the stories it tells; he relates them to real life and sees how people he knows are living the tales. While two people discuss his thoughts and behaviour, one says something along the lines of fairy tales are a way of us dealing with the world and what happens in it. Long story short, it got me thinking.

I adore fairy tales. I plan to read all of the classics; I adore all of the Disney movies; I love all of the concepts that arise from those hearbreakingly heartwarming words. The question - at least the question I assume I will be tackling in this post - is... why?

So there is this idea that we indulge ourselves in these stories for the sake of escapism. And, hey, why shouldn't we!? I remember a mock exam going horrifically a couple of years ago, and I went home and watched Tangled. I wanted my mind to be with a lovely story- a lovely ending. I wanted to escape to the world of sweet promises and good and forget that I may have just messed up. 

Happiness. Another answer, is pure and good and fairy tale happiness! I strongly believe this life we are living is one that should be lived to the soundtrack of our own individual happiness- made up of all of those things that make us happy. I watch Frozen a lot because I love Olaf's words, and I adore the story, and I bloomin' love singing along! 

They teach good lessons, don't they!? I am relating a lot to Disney adaptations, and although there are arguments about what such stories teach, I do believe courage and honesty and love is taught and cherished by a world- and that just has to be a good thing, right?

What do you think?

Courage & Honesty,

The Girl in the Moonlight.

That Intimidation Thing and Why it Sucks

I don't know if there is ever a time when intimidation is wholly good. Maybe there is; maybe sometimes it is necessary. However, this post focuses on the only intimidation I have ever experienced; it is one that makes my heart sink and makes me feel very little and quite nervous. I want to outline the ways in which I have experienced this, in the hope it shows just how horrible and potentially dangerous it is.

I began thinking about this post when I was walking on the pavement next to a main road. I was dressed in my running clothes; shorts and a t-shirt (details which may or may not be relevant to what happened). That day my foot began to hurt and so I stopped running, and walked home. A minibus of 20+ year old males (obviously wanting to succumb to this "lad" nature which in this case made me think very badly of them), with the bus windows down, jeered and shouted out the window, raising their fists and punching the air as they stared at me. My first thought was, these-guys-are-embarrassing-me-and-being-cruel. So my first thought was that they were pointing out something negative about me. Why would you want to inflict such thoughts upon someone, especially when I am likely to never have any confirmation of why they felt the need to do it? Whether the intention was there or not, what they achieved was making me not know why they did it, leaving me questioning it. Ultimately, the whole act is so uncool. Whenever I experience similar situations, I hate it. There is this stupid assumption that things like this are nothing but compliments to girls- that we love the attention. I don't believe there is anything wrong if that is the case but I personally despise it. Being in the spotlight as I am going about my daily business is awkward and humiliating and I feel nothing but frustration that anyone feels the need to pick someone - or a group of people - and put them in the spotlight. For one thing, I simply don't know how to respond. Is that fair? No, of course not. Moral of the story: Focus on the road.

These kinds of acts - acts that I assume the people doing find some kind of pleasure out of - aren't exclusive to people in cars. Nearby where I live, when I was younger, a group of kids - my age and above - used to sit on a corner. Many people had a problem with this and I had an inner-conflict with myself about it. If they were doing nothing wrong, I am a strong believer of young people not being unfairly expected to be causing trouble. And this should be the case. However I felt terrified when I passed them. I did feel like they purposefully stopped to stare with the intention to intimidate which seemed evident when they would make comments at me. WHY DO IT!? It is some weird every-day bullying upon passerbys. I have no idea what it achieves, and it just confuses me.

You have no idea how an individual or group will take such an act - how they will feel and further what they will do - so just don't do it.

At secondary school, my thoughts on this issue became even more frustrated when a teacher told his story. The day before he addressed my class with his story, he was on an afternoon run. He passed a group of young people and they shouted rude things at him; things that he couldn't just forget. It was on his mind - you know when something just nags at your thoughts and you can't fully focus on anything else - and it made him consider taking another route the next time. To this day, I have no idea if he did change his route but even the consideration of it makes me know I could never knowingly make an individual feel so uncomfortable. So intimidated.

In one of my classes at college there was a boy in my class who was known for being, well, horrible. He made cruel comments to people; his teasing was horrifically unjust; he is the only person I have ever met on more than a few occasions who I have seen only a vile side of. I want to address the moment in which I felt most intimidated by him. And that was when I walked into the class. He may not have arrived yet, or he may have. However, each time (he may not even have been in college that day), my stomach was met with intense pain and fear, and my throat would be accompanied by the threat of feeling sick. He may not have even intended for this sometimes but his actions before the moment of intimidation made me fear him; made me entirely intimidated. Sometimes people, of course, intimidate people without wishing to at all. I want to always approach my life with a friendly attitude and an openness that means no one does feel intimidated by me. However, it does not mean that no one ever has - although I hope they haven't -; it would have just been a misread situation that I hope to prevent in the future. Yet, I know completely that this boy could have made me intimidated on purpose, but what I know for sure is that he wouldn't care less if he knew how I felt. I don't like judging people's personalities (everyone has bad days, right? Everyone has or will have bad things happening in their lives... I know that!) but that is the kind of human I will always aim to never be.

Intimidation sucks. It really sucks.

A Walk & A Thought,

The Girl in the Moonlight.