After reading Zoe's back to school post, I had to write a post about first impressions.
Zoe said something about herself that, finally, after years, described my feelings about being faced with first impressions. I worry that people, when they first meet me, think I'm shy. Being shy is not a bad thing and there are situations where I will be shy. My problem is, I don't want someone to pin me down, label me as soon as they meet me. It could, in turn, stop certain relationships and restrict me being the very best version of myself. There are three reasons I wouldn't want people to label me as "shy-just-shy" straight away (as I wouldn't label others it): Firstly I am not a shy person and secondly, after people thinking I'm shy, I won't always show them who I really am because I'm so bogged down with their opinion and if I was a very shy person, that wouldn't be all that there is to me and more importantly, it wouldn't be the most important aspect of my personality.
I have learnt, however that first impressions don't matter. It's a simple as that. It doesn't stop us worrying about it, but I know my fear of first impressions has definitely lessened. First impressions reflect more on the person casting them than they do the subject.
Therefore, I try oh so hard to not make those first impressions of others. I don't always succeed which sounds hypocritical - and well, it is. Sometimes I'm faced with people who have done something that may strike me as horrible, rude or scary. I will, in turn, become sheltered from them - become shy, maybe. This is unfair. I may have caught them at a bad moment or completely misread the situation. Alternatively, I may have got it just right but that doesn't make me right for labelling them. So, I make a conscious effort not to do this when meeting new people.
I met this girl years and years ago and from the start we didn't like each other. We were very young but for no reason I didn't like her and she didn't like me. We didn't talk and we didn't try to until one day, we did. Guess what? She's my best friend. Both my best friend and I actually aren't the type of people to not like people (we were very young) but from what we can remember, we did and now she is one of my favourite people ever.
If you've just started somewhere new and you're worried or anxious about first impressions or anything else, I can tell you that everyone feels the same and there's (although this may not stop you feeling it) no need for you to be. Everything will be ok!
Have you started somewhere new? Or do you remember feeling anxious after starting somewhere new? Have you been wrong about someone and now think they are great?
Jumpers & Socks,
The Girl in the Moonlight.