Related words: Engrossed
Ardour; Passion; Excitement; Love; Sublime; Happiness.
It's a Sunday. A lazy Sunday. I've got things to do, but I keep coming back here. To my computer. I refuse, right now, to call this procrastination. How can the action of me writing be something so related to idleness (and I do love the idleness in some forms of procrastination) when my heart is on fire with excitement? Shall I throw in a few onomatopoeic words? Tap, tap, tap, sing the tune of my childishly excited fingers as they lead the way on my laptop's keyboard. Will that rid any speculation that this is simply me putting off a laborious task? It's a Sunday. I'm engrossed happily with the beauty of words and the thoughts of mine that are transcribed on a webpage in front of me. This is me enduring the feeling of being engrossed. And very happily too.
Engrossed. It's a pleasant feeling. More than pleasant. Like I belong somewhere. Another family waits for me when I log into Blogger. No actual people, but words to accompany my thoughts and feelings. Engrossed is how I feel when I'm sat here, indulging my everything into one of my most valued hobbies.
Engrossed. It feels, to me, like something out of this world. Something like the ecstasy Frankenstein describes in his titular novel. It's like the whole of the world's sublimity is ahead of me. Showing me how much everything matters, and how little everything matters all at the same time. But it doesn't intimidate me. It only encourages me to carry on.
Engrossed. It's passion; it's ardour. It's holding the promises that smile in my heart in front of my eyes, and knowing they're smiling because they will stay true. They will be completed. It's in my power; yet I am powerless to the love I feel for being engrossed in something so magical.
Engrossed. It's happiness: pure and innocent. It's a childish toy that I keep going back to. I'll never be bored of this object that would only save me if I were to fall; only celebrate with me when I'm winning. Can you argue with the feeling that creates a unity inside you when there's only you in a room? I can't.
What does "engrossed" mean to you?
Pyjamas & Mugs,
The Girl in the Moonlight.