Experiencing the great times with friends and those around me is naturally a joyous feeling, but whenever someone close to me experiences something that is devastating or shakes their world in the wrong way, I will always experience second hand heartbreak; feeling sadness at their loss of happiness.
Recently a friend of mine had a string of unfortunate events happen at once. In turn, I felt the gutting sadness and helplessness at my friend's confusion and want to be guided in the right direction by being in the "I've moved on from this situation" stage. Second hand heartbreak is a by-product of friendships in my life, and despite being young, I've learnt a lot from watching people close to me go through, without sounding unnecessarily dramatic (because really, it's not), the unimaginable.
I've found the thing about friendship and feeling the want to make the darkness go away is that the simplest - whether it's heart-felt or just watching a film and eating chocolate - things can comfort whatever pain a friend is feeling. It's also about listening. If I'm rung by a friend or go to see a friend because of an upsetting reason, the whole a problem shared is a problem halved theory is very fitting. No, it might not half the sadness they're feeling, but it diminishes some thoughts and worries. They've never been looking for an answer (but if I have one, I'll give it a shot), they want to let their feelings out.
Unfortunately, it's not always a situation where there is a "I am 100% moved on from this situation." Naturally, that is okay. Completely upsetting, but completely okay. A wonderfully amazing friend of mine did experience the unimaginable and she's the strongest person I know, and of course still experiences heartbreak over what has happened. The heartbreak I feel is a horrible feeling, but also a sign of a good friendship, and I know the feeling would be returned.
Another thing I've learnt is that I wouldn't ever want to go without this second hand heartbreak when it comes to those I love and those who deserve comfort. Although I'd much prefer the situation never happened, I am glad that my friend will call me and offload.
A Movie & A Tea,
The Girl in the Moonlight.
P.S. I will, despite all the different things I've been saying on my blog about my schedule, be posting at least twice a week!