I have always been content with being by myself. By this I mean, sitting in my room in silence or with music keeps me sane, spending a day doing absolutely nothing all by myself is most likely what I need after weeks of stress and wanting to be anywhere but where I am and going for long walks by myself is one of the best things for me. I like to be alone.
Although at times my mind is like a fairground on a Friday evening in August, I'm not someone who, if alone overthinks and stresses and I could not be more thankful for this. For me, being alone can sometimes be a relief. I'll sit in my room and read a book, or I'll sit at my keyboard or I'll just sit in silence. Now, I see I'm creating a really unsociable image of myself, but at times it really is who I need to be. It produces a clean, white canvas for a while where I can rethink my values and check I'm the person I want to be. I also see that I'm creating a really spiritual image of myself, (I'm really not spiritual!) but for me a silent room and a silent or a busy mind is incredibly relaxing and reassuring.
Life can be stressful and complicated and full of unwanted feelings and thoughts but, for me, being alone reinforces that life is a beautiful thing, despite sometimes losing this outlook on for a while. I need to remind myself of my goals and dreams; I need to realise where I'm going wrong and who I should be spending more time with; I need to think. It's easy to lose yourself in this - as Ronan Keating would call - rollercoaster of life, but you should consider losing yourself (although if you can avoid losing yourself, this would probably be better!) a good exercise of teaching yourself to get right back on track!
All people want from life is happiness. Forget success and money, happiness is the key to a smile. It's easy to go through life in the search of happiness, waiting for everything to slot right into place, but sometimes, happiness can be there if you just open your eyes. Sitting by myself is where I remember this, where I remind myself that happiness doesn't have to be a destination a journey away and that I've got all of the tools in the world to just smile.
For the simple reason of enjoying my own company as I avoid overly scrutinising myself, (scrutiny would definitely not be healthy for me!) occasional - or whenever I need it - loneliness is the reason for my happiness.
Candyfloss & Ice cream,
The Girl in the Moonlight.
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